My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?

We have been together for 14 years, and married for 9. We tried for 2.5 years for our baby, even prepared to do IVF before I fell pregnant naturally. He seemed to be happy. He was always a bit critical of me and hard to have fun with, but overall I was happy and I thought he was happy. I can honestly say I was a good wife and a good friend to him. I followed him around the world for work. Supported him at various sporting events. Kept up relationships with our family and friends. Kept the house. Cooked.


He went to a conference overseas in Dec 09 for 4 days. Turns out he met some woman in a nightclub. Spent 4 days with her. All the while he was with her he was emailing me every day saying how much he loved me and missed me and couldn' t wait to see me and show me the baby clothes he had purchased. He came home Dec 18, continued the affair with her online and over the phone, and for all of Jan 2010 then start of Feb tells me he has met someone else, fallen ';in love'; with her (after 4 days and 5 weeks of communication) and was leaving for good.


I was totally shocked. Never saw it coming. It was only after he left I started getting the credit card statements for all the money he spent on her. And it's not like him to spend like that, he is a real saver. Jewellery, flowers, clothes..it was sickening. She knew I was pregnant and he was married and according to his best friend, still pursued him. She didn't care.


He has told me he was ';unhappy'; with me and she has made him realise how unhappy he was. That he has moved on and I should too. That he will never come back to me.


He has ';known'; her for 3 months. She lives a 14 hour plane flight away. Apparently she was making plans to come live here with him after 4 weeks of meeting him. He has spent a total of 4 days, 2 weeks skiing plus countless hours on the phone and internet with her.


His daughter and I have been discarded for a stranger. Myself, his friends and family feel he is totally infatuated. I love him, have begged him to reconsider, to think of his daughter. He doesn't want to try counselling, do a trial separation, nothing. He has decided to cast us aside for a woman he has known for 3 months. I feel he is totally blinded to what he is losing. He seems so cold, and heartless towards me now and I don't know how you can just switch off so easily from someone you have been with for 14 years and for your first child and after so much difficulty conceiving her.


It just doesn't make sense. I am in a terrible place emotionally. It is all a complete shock. I am depressed, can't function. I have had to move in with my parents. I am now facing life as a single mother and going through hell, yet he seems so happy and things seem to be going so right for him? And he is the one who had the affair and did this terrible thing. How can that be fair?


What should I do? Move on? Keep trying to get him back? How do I deal with the fact a new woman is taking my place in his life?


Has anyone heard of this happening? Do men ever come back to their wives in these situations? Does this type of relationship work out? I hear of men crawling back eventually, but he seems so certain in his decision. And now she is making plans to move out here to be with him. Mind you, he hasn't met his daughter yet and I wonder if that will make him reconsider. He is so hard and so certain. I wonder if he might change his mind when he meets his daughter. He says he wants to play a big role in her life and is willing to pay child support.


It was so fast. Straight from me to her. It is certainly a rebound. ANd it's long distance too.


I try and stay strong and think that God has done this for a reason and there must be something better out there for me.....? Should I forget him? How?


Thanks for your help and thoughts.....My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?
Stop considering taking him back. You and him together will be toxic. I am so very sorry you have had to go through all this after being with him for so long. Please stay with the family and start over in life. Hit his cheating, lying asss up for child support and if your not working alimony too.%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; Make him pay and suffer for this stupid behavior!!!





Make it to where he dosen't have any money for his life with her.





Good bless you.My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?
you need to move on.. everything happens for a reason God is gonna send you someone you deserve whos gonna remove this hurt from you and make you feel like new . as for him ever returning whos to say what he'll do.
your not alone. My story is that my husband left me 6 months pregnant for his ex wife. We were separated for 5 months. We did get back together when our daughter was 4 months old. I want to say first that i do love my husband very much and we have been together for 7 months now and our little girl will be 1 this month but he did come by every day when we were separated to see her and check on me so we both still had feelings for each other it was just a bad situation. With that said i still get mad and hurt over thinking of what he did to us. So you have to really want to work things out if it will ever work and i know that it is harder to let go when you have a kid with him but you should let go and move on for yourself and your daughter are it will drive you crazy and if it is meant to be it will be.
You guys are so WONDERFUL, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your caring words and you don't even know me. I will look back on these answers to give me strength every day. May God bless you all.
Let yourself heal. Your husband is a cheater, he lied to you, built his relationship with some girl he meet in a night club. But, guess what. What kind of woman goes to a night club? Sleeps with a man right away? And is willing to move after 3 months! Come on he doesn't know her and he is spending money on her. Now take your dear husband to court and go get yourself some alimony, child support, and make him return some of the investment that you put in for your fair share of 14 years. You deserve it and so does your daughter. Now, let your dear husband go, because this woman may have a STD because she slept with your dear husband way to EASY. Besides, when his money runs out she will too. And one day he will wake up to the fact that he was a jerk to his daughter and his wife, and hopefully by then you know your worth and you have meet a descent man that you deserve. Sorrey, that your husband made such a stupid choice, but learn from it and remember the warning signs. Good luck.
That is downright shocking. How can anyone leave their pregnant wife after 14 years??





Make this guy pay, dearly. Rake him through the coals, then rake him again just to make sure he gets it. Continually take him back to court every time you think he got a raise.





This is not a man, it is a class ';A'; loser in my books.
OMG! He's like a stupid child. I think you need to get a good lawyer and take him for everything that he's worth. That'll make him think twice before sh*tting all over his responsibilities. He is the one who is losing out; that woman is not likely to be there for him in the long run, and she is obviously of poor moral character if she will pursue the husband of a pregnant woman. Don't try to get him back. The trust has been broken, and you'll just be miserable every time he's out of your sight, wondering what he's doing. There is no quick fix for this kind of heartache, and you will be a co-parent with this person forever, if he's even man enough to want to be in the baby's life. I'm sorry this happened. Same thing happened to my mother in law, when she was pregnant with my husband, so I really feel for you, bc I know the sh*tstorm of ramifications his selfish actions will cause. Good luck, Sweetie
They say there is a fixed amount of sorrow in everyones life...urs has come like this...ur husbands willl come in a different way(even worse)...The point is just bear in mind the fact that whatever ur feeling now will pass....i have a ';post it'; in my desk constantly reminding me tht this will pass....urs will also pass....remember the time when u were sad about not having kids....but now u have a kid....like that slowly this problem will also vanish and u willl find someone who really loves you....And a good tip will be to read through the yahoo answers....it will make ur misery feel a lot better when related to urs....Trust me...Thats what i did and i felt better a lot better...although if u read my story u wud want to kill me first....But i will pray a lot for u....Ur lucky atleast u have a kid....prepare urself for the arrival of this angel....and everything else will pass....Godbless u....lots of luv and prayers....
Oh you poor thing. This is a bit weird as it's quite similar to what happened to me. I was 8 months pregnant when I found out my fiancee (partner of 7 years) had started seeing someone else from work. I was so terrified and wanted to hang on to him. He eventually left when our baby was 6 months old but he was pretty unpleasant for the whole time. Now he is not seeing the other woman but I couldn't take him back. My only regret is I didn't kick him out the minute I found out.





Being a single mum is hard but it's not impossible and you'll find the strength to do it. I am happier now than I was when he was around and little by little you'll get your life back on track. He probably will want to come back and will see what he has left. But when he changes his mind you may feel that you've moved on. When I think about my ex I think we would be happy for a few weeks only.





I think for now you just have to concentrate on yourself and your daughter. Build yourself up again, see your friends, make new ones, just do whatever it takes to get on with your own life. It's so hard but just try to concentrate on anything. At first you may not think of what's happened for just a few minutes then it will get longer. If you are able to enjoy anything, music, tv, a drink with a friend then you're on track. Whatever the future holds you'll be in a strong position.





Take care of youself and trust that it will get easier.
I'm so sorry to hear your news.. I can completely relate as something similar has happened to me as well... and its not at all something I ever thought I would be dealing with. I thought we were happy too.. I just hope and pray that someday things will make some sense. I have a 2 year old girl and also I am 5 months pregnant and left on my own. I am without a doubt in the worst state of mind I've ever been in my whole life and its really hard to make it through each day but somehow I keep going. I will pray for you and I hope you will find happiness someday..
This man has been messing around with another woman and has been carrying on a relationship with her and you want him back? Why? And your rebound theory makes no sense. A rebound is a relationship with another person right after the breakup of a previous one. You will still married when he started seeing this girl. So that's no a rebound relationship, it's an adulterous one. Seriously, cut your losses. There are so many men out there who would love you and your baby and who would never do you wrong. I can understand why you're upset. 14 years is a long time and it's worse because you're pregnant. All your husband has shown you is that he is a chicken sh*t coward and a lying, cheating scumbag. Is this what you want your child to learn? That when she grows up she should marry a man who will leave her for another woman and then try to get him back? Sweety, you can do so much better. Give yourself time to heal. God and time will heal all things. Concentrate on taking care of your baby. I know it's hard to be a single mom (I was by myself for awhile with 2 kids and I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd...so I know it's hard but it is possible) but you can do it. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. And in time, God will send you a man who will love you and treat you like a queen. Your scumbag hubby may seem happy now but I bet in the end he will be miserable and try to come back. Don't take him back. Just remember that karma will bite him in the a**. Good luck
Hi, Malia.





Let me just say that I'm very sorry for your situation and you have a great deal of sympathy and compassion from me.





My advice would be, now that he has broken your trust, don't allow him to earn it back easily. After all, he's lied to you before about how committed he was.





If your husband still wants to have relationship with his child, don't get in the way of that. DO fight for child support.





Secondly, please don't blame yourself for any of his behavior. 100% NOT YOUR FAULT.





If it's any consolation to you, I think it's likely your estranged husband's new relationship won't last. Relationships like that are based on lust and deceit and fantasy. I mean, it's one based on profound selfishness. Flings that start out from cheating generally have a low chance of long-term success, educated guess %26lt; 10%. Eventually, you realize your partner has their own needs and wishes, they're not going to keep trying to seduce you forever and eventually they'll start making more and more emotional demands.





Generally, cheaters cheat because they feel like something is ';missing'; from the relationship.





Of course, what's really missing is the cheater's own self-esteem! Cheaters are generally secretly very insecure. Their behavior has nothing to do with the quality of their current relationship; it's all about their own flawed persona.





So suddenly, they run into someone new who temporarily makes them feel better about themselves.......... In a way, it's understandable that a cheater would be willing to drop everything and chase something that gave them an excuse to feel good about themselves-I'm not saying it's right. The ego-boost doesn't last though. Eventually they realize that they've just alienated everyone in their former life, this is not a good feeling self-esteem wise. (cheaters Do have a conscience, but their insecurity is usually stronger.) So, in order to prop their ego back up, they look for yet another new person to flatter them. This is why they say, ';once a cheater, always a cheater.';





The reason why your estranged husband doesn't show interest in you, is you're a reminder to him that maybe he's not such a good person after all. When person is off chasing their self-esteem, the last thing they want is a reality check.





Does any of this make sense?





Good luck, and best wishes.


~WOMBAT
He is on a power trip. When he realises the immaturity of his decision he will come crawling back. Too bad by then you wont take him back. I suggest you don't anyway. What kind of man leaves his wife for another woman when she is pregnant? So selfish.
I can relate to your story and I feel for you. My husband of 7 years moved out of our bedroom when our only daughter turned 6 months and then moved out after her first birthday. His explanation was that he hadn't been in love with me for a long time and he ignored those feelings because he wanted a child so badly. We have always had a rocky relationship, but I definitely thought there was improvement when we decided to have a child.





I too, was devastated, but I am now coming to realize that my future will be brighter without him. Like your husband, he was always very critical of sooo many things. It tore me down so much I couldn't make decisions on what to make for dinner or what duvet to buy!!!!





I started seeing a therapist which I would highly recommend for you. This is his issue, and NOT yours and you should not think about taking him back because you deserve better. The fact that you are 6 months pregnant and he is leaving without trying to save the marriage proves how much of a narcissist he is. He is the one that feels inadequate and that will never change. He envies you in some way versus appreciating you. I truly believe that a ';good'; man will accept you for all that you are, the good, the bad and the ugly.





You will have a lot of bad days ahead of you, but there will be good days ahead too. Right now, try to concentrate on preparing for the birth of your child. I was not a woman that really yearned for a child, but I will never forget the first time I heard my daughter cry. It was just the movies. The whole world stops. You can't hear anything else or look at anything else but your child. It is truly an amazing experience and don't let HIM take that away from you.





Ultimately, he will regret it, but you may never know it. He is a coward that cannot deal with his own short comings and inadequacy issues. You will be a stronger woman on the other side and you'll be an excellent example to your daughter when the time is right for her to understand what really happened between the two of you.





Believe in yourself and that you deserve better.





Love and cherish that little girl every day.





You can get through this......
to be honest i only read the first line...but just so u know ive got ure back...ure husband is an asshole...and you and ure child are better off without him
I am sorry but have him pay child support. Make sure he has a lot to do in his daughter's life.There is no reason to fight for love. Love is given freely to anyone willing to accept it. You fighting for it is just a waste of your time. I didn't want to sound harsh but it is true. GOD has something much better for the both of you. Just pray every night and thank GOD you have such a loving family who love you and your daughter. Some parents forget they have kids after they been gone so long.


Remember you will always have one man who will love you forever. GOD.
Hi Malia.





Honestly, my heart goes all out for you. It is as if I can feel the severe pain deep down inside your heart. And maybe because of this, you would have a feeling of an unbelievable hate to men (maybe!) or feeling of an insecurity when it comes to men.





But know that, you deserve someone much much better if it were to happen that you'll fall in love again. Yes, its best if you try to forgot your husband totally (I mean forget of trying to beg him coming back to you), but instead, like others have said, focus on your child, focus on how you will raise her and give her all the love that she needs.





I do believe that God test every human being that which is in our capabilities. God The Most Compassionate and Most Gracious will never test us in this temporary world that which is beyond ourselves. Yeah, everything in this world will eventually vanish, die or subside but our love to Our Creator will always stay there. Such love will always grant a bliss peace inside our heart. Having said that, I do believe that you are one strong woman and that you can absolutely live without him and it is also possible that you will forget him and lead a better, happier life with your child.





Pray to God The Most Heareth so that He will always protect you and your child, give you an abundance of blessings in life, forgiveness and strengths for you to become the best mother to your child.





Stay strong, dear as God The Most Merciful is always there. :)