So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?

My daughter has been BEST friend's with little girl since kindergarten. They are now both 5th graders.





They have been inseparable. Sleep overs. excursions. you name it! But early this year things started to fall apart when I began speaking up to her mother.





Her mom has a reputation for being domineering and very insulting. And talks about EVRYONE. nasty rude comments.





I REALLY TRIED to be her friend. But always noticed the friendship was one sided.





Yet the girls remained close.





I am half black/half Italian, and early this year the mother was concerned about new neighbors. And said


to me concerning an black friend who hurt her ';so now she's a ******!'; I was stunned.


And when I told her her comment was inappropriate she went off one me!





';Please don't tell me you are offended. You people are always over reacting';





AND She stopped speaking to me for 2 months.





still the girls remained close. And i had to communicate with the chil'ds dad to make play dates.





I caved and broke the ice. Then one day she saw my daughter and I driving, pulled beside us and when she found out we were going out to dinner she said ';gee thanks for invintg US!';


in the meantime. we always invited she and her child. dinner. movies. etc. but she NEVER invited us.


So I stopped.





last straw for both of was one parent night when she sat beside me. and insulted EVERY teacher who stood up to speak. ';what a dork';. ';god she is butt ugly!'; and not for nothin' but she is about 5' 7'; and weighs 250 pounds she told me. and some people heard her insults. and put her in her place. and eventually when i asked her to stop, she rolled her eyes and left and MADE her husband leave, and sat somewhere else.





Then the girls relationship fell apart.





at the end of summer her daughter returned form vacation and never called my daughter. we never knew she was back. yet she called 2 other girls.





and what was so hurtful was my daughter said 2 weeks ago her best friend brought in a birthday cake, went out of her way to stand in front of my kid and said ';umm yummy!'; then my kid's teacher saw my kid's reaction and asked them to leave?





How could this happen?





the short is she never invited me kid to her party last week. my daughter was soooooo upset and sad.





what would YOU do?





would you approach the mother?





or just let it go?





another thing I should mention is many parents have mentioned the mom's bad behavior. throwing the ';N'; word around.





so no love is lost there. I don't need that kind of negative person in my life.





but what about the girls? no more play dates. and she had her kid turn on mine. how cruel.





again.





what would YOU do?


address it? or let it go.





sorry for the story.





and thanks in advance.So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?
Having been in this situation twice in the last three years, my best advice is to cut and run. Consider yourself and your daughter lucky to be free of such a toxic relationship. If the friend's mother feels comfortable saying such ugly things to you, she has most likely said things like in front of your daughter and most assuredly in front of her daughter. It is only a matter of time before the daughter begins mimicking her mother.





You can choose to address the situation, but that you just drags you right back into the situation all over again. Unless you wish to be friends with this woman, forgive all the things she does that make you uncomfortable and set your daughter up for a relationship that has the potential to be equally unpleasant, walk away while you have a chance.





Children tend to go through changes as they head into puberty and, unfortunately, some of these changes may affect even life long relationships. It is better to teach your daughter how to deal with issues such as these than to expose her to any more hurt than is necessary at the hands of this child and her mother.So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?
theres really nothing you can do about it. Its her decision and if your that concern try talking it out with her
Do you think you'll change her? Let her be her and although your daughter is hurt now she'll learn an important lesson in the long run.
You stay out of it.





Like it or not, this mother has the right to exclude kids from the party.





Stuff happens.





All the best.
Wow, I am in fifth grade and I am 10, and I am shocked.





I am sorry for your daughter and I would be her friend if I knew her. I know plenty of children, that are my age, that have horrible mothers and get abused. If I went to her school, I would be nice to your daughter after that occured.





If my mom would be doing that, I would tell her that she is so rude and I want to invite my best friend and my mom loves me bad, so I would avoide her until she gives up.





If I were you, I would approach the mother and try to find things in common to do together, for the sake of the girls. If the girls mother is a problem, be the nice one and when its your daughters birthday, invite the girl.
It sucks for your daughter, but she's got to go through this sometime.





I'm kind of thinking your going to be grateful for this breakup to happen now. Once your daughter's ex-friend gets into middle school, she is going to be a MONSTER.
I think you've dodged a bullet here. This woman is not only a negative person to be in your life, but your daughter's as well. Her child already shows that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree - are these people you really want influencing your daughter?





I think we've all gone through this, especially as girls. All she can do is be nice to her friends, but she can't choose how they will be to her.
What a miserable person she must be. I think she has low self esteem and gets a kick out of putting others down to make her feel better. To be honest, I wouldn't want that type of person around my family and especially my children. Kids pick up on things and look up to adults so I'm sure her daughter unfortunately will pick up these bad habits. I say, just leave her be and all her negativity. You wouldn't want your daughter around someone who doesn't have respect for others. She has obviously rubbed off on her own daughter as you mentioned her daughter making your child feel bad by being sarcastic about the cake. Look at the bright side and be glad you found out just how bad of a person this woman can be and that your daughter will always have the opportunity to meet new friends.