My husband molested my 14 year old daughter ?

About 3 weeks ago, my husband (her stepdad) came to me and told me my 14 year old daughter had some pot she had gotten from a friend. He had known for several days, she had told him about it and made him promise not to tell me about it..


The next day we spoke for about 6 hours and after her opening up to me about a lot of her teenage problems i finally said to her ';No matter what I will always love her and nothing could ever change that'; and ';if she was afraid to tell me something because of how i would think of her, that it was not possible for me to ever love her any less nor look at her any different. She could trust me.'; She then started to tell me about an incident that had happened last May.


She said we were at the next door neighbors that night having a bbq and i had not been feeling well and went home next door and went to bed. She said that her and my husband (her stepfather) stayed for a little while and all the adults were drinking. When they came home they were having a really heart felt talk and she was sharing with him some of her boyfriend problems. She had asked him to tickle her back til she fell asleep. (My daughter has always been one who asks for this when she doesn't feel well from me, her grandmother, father, stepfather, close family members, etc. ) She said he was in her room tickling her back and after a while he then started to move his hands to the front of her shirt. He had brushed across both of her breasts and she said she was so stunned she didn't know what to do. She told me he was telling her he had fantasized about her before and asked her to kiss him. She said please don't do this you're supposed to be like a father figure to me. He then pulled away and said i know i am your stepdad but i'm also a man. She says she cannot remember much more specific details except that she kept pretending to be tired so he would leave,… he wasn't leaving and she wasn't sure what to do. (Although with me asleep in the next room) -she was afraid to do anything she felt in shock. She kept asking him to leave as he just sat on her floor. She then told me he offered to leave and go get her some coffee energy drinks for the next day if she would do something for him. She asked ';what';. He said “pull down your pants”. She wanted him to leave so badly that she quickly grabbed her pajama bottoms and flashed her underwear. He was then standing beside her bed. and said ';NO, you can do better than that'; she said she finally pulled down her pants and her underwear to her mid thigh and the whole time kept her eyes closed and after about 15 seconds he said ';Very Nice'; and left the room. She told me nothing had ever happened before or after that night.


After she told me all this, I immediately took her to my sisters before he got home from work. When he got home, I asked him about the situation and he denied it. I asked him to take a polygraph test and he agreed. I had promised my daughter i would get him out of the house and she would not have to see him again. I wasn't sure if she was telling the truth or reacting to the fact that he had betrayed her trust by telling me about the marijuana. We immediately made arrangements for him to go stay with some friends and he went that night. He has been there ever since. Just last week we got the money together to pay for the polygraph test and went to have him take it. I told the examiner the things my daughter had told me and the examiner made sure to ask the vital questions. My husband FAILED the polygraph test on every single question pertaining to him sexually touching her, making advances or looking at her.


He broke down in tears and confessed to everything. I got his side of the story for about 2 hours. And to my surprise he let me record him, and his version is actually more graphic and abusive than her version. I immediately made counseling appointments and took my daughter to the physician to see if she needed anti depressants. I also felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown, and needed to see my doctor as well. I had just confirmed my WORST nightmare. I was 15 feet a way when this happened. And for 6 months my daughter had been living with it and hadn’t told anyone but one friend of hers. As for the present moment my husband is continuing to stay with friends and i have told him if he comes near my child i will call the police.


My question is this: I have not called the police because i love this man very much. but i love my daughter more. I don't know if i'm in shock or grieving or what, but it's all i can think about. What do i do now? I am so confused and torn. Am I making the right choice? I am afraid that if i go to law enforcement it will only make this harder to move on with our lives ? Any help please?My husband molested my 14 year old daughter ?
Cal the cops now !My husband molested my 14 year old daughter ?
if this man has done this to your daughter nothing should stand in the way of making him suffer for what he did, that means calling the police and let them do what it legaly right here, what if he has done this to another little girl? what if he does it to her or another girl again? people like him need to be turned in! if he has done this to your daughter how can you still love him and how can you let the 'love' for the man that has done this to your daughter live as if he hasnt done anything. if he gets away with it he will do it again and no matter how much you love some1 your daughter should always come first!


im not being harsh but im 15 its only a years differance and i know what id want my mum to do! :)
Ok all though i think you handled the situation quite well. You really need to call the police. chances are he has done this before and will do it again. If you and your daughter can spare one more child of going through what she went through it would be worth it. However i dont understand how you can say you love him, everything you thought you knew about this man was a lie. Call the police report it and make sure he gets arrested!
If you really loved your daughter, you would've called the cops the second she got done telling you what your pedophile of a husband did to her. You need to call the cops NOW. How can you love a man who hurt your daughter like that? You disgust me.
My child would always come first NO MATTER WHAT!





I know you love him, but if you don´t report him you leave him free to do this to some other poor innocent child. He is a pervert and you need to chose your daughter here.





Nightmare situation. Can´t even imagine what you are feeling right now.
For real(not for fake) you need to call the police ASAP beacause that douche dun touched yo jit..


THat ***** needs to get rite.. and this shouldn't be a question cops should been and he should be on the 10 o' clock news
OMG first let me say I am so sorry for you and your daughter. I probably would have killed him so your handling it better than me. But I would seriousl think about having him arrested. Ask your daughter her opinion on the matter, I'm afaid she may feel like you did betray her if he doesn't getthe punishment he deserves. Good Luck
You seem to be a caring rational mom and it seems that you're doing everything you can to handle this in the best manner possible.


I think you know the answer already.


Good luck
you call the police


you validate and protect your child


FUQ him ..you love a pedophile
he is a pervert and if you truley love your daughter you will call the police and get him sent to jail
I understand that your first priority is to your daughter, but you also have to consider other people's children. If he has done this before, he WILL DO IT AGAIN. Call the police, I bet you'll be surprised how sensitive they are to the situation and they can also ensure that you and your daughter get all the support you need to pursue this.


Your husband did something unforgivable. By letting him get away with it, you are leaving the door open for him to do it again, but next time it could be worse.
You need to do what is best for your daughter. Remember, you love her more and this guy is a gross pervert who deserves to go to jail. You need to call the police because if you don't, your daughter will never trust you again. Good luck and stay strong, you can do it.
YEAH it may not be considered incest Or statutory rape but it is still classed as a sexual act on a child from a grown up !! this girl did not want this to happen and i think you can have him charged. nothing actually happened so i don't know if you can get him sent to jail but he did touch her breasts. ! AIN'T THAT SEXUAL HARASSMENT !. you can get charged 4 that...
You don't allow email but I felt compelled to write that I am so so sorry for you and your daughter. You were both horribly betrayed. Please speak to a counselor today, and follow his/her recommendations about legalities, counseling and trauma recovery.
Going to the police is one thing. It is another thing for them to believe your daughter. Considering that she held it in for six months, before telling anyone.
You are going to sacrifice your daughter for him. So many mothers do with their second husband,


Grow up. Be the parent, get him charged for your daughter's sake. It was her courage that got you to this point. Don't turn your back on her now.


Addition.


That was a late thought - you wont report him because you still ';love him'; or at least have a pathologogally dependant relationship with him.


Calling the police will certainly make it hader for you and your daughter's abuser to move on together, This question has been about you from the beginning.


BE HER MOTHER FIRST. You brought the offender into contact with your daughter in the first place. YOU can't win every round.





Given your clear and stated conflict of interest is this situation. Get others involved, your daughter's father, a counseller at her school. Her favourite adult. You are perpetuating her abuse. You have become her tormentor.
this is a horrible, disgusting thing he has done to her, and i believe that any woman in this position would feel the same, but you have to do whats right for your child. if there is any possible chance that he would harm your daughter again, i would in no way let him anywhere near her or you. you have made the right choice by throwing him out.