heres my story. I was 21 married to the only man id ever been in a serious relationship with, and had an almost 3 year old daughter with him. Our marriage was failing, after many attempts at trying. I tried to leave but its hard because i have no education no money no job ect. I went about it the wrong way and had an affair on my husband with my cousin. who was cheating on his gf with me as well.
wasnt something we were expecting but we fell in love. I left my husband, and before he could leave his gf she left him, with alot of rent. that he couldnt afford on his own so he asked me to move down. I was going through so much at the time i wasnt thinking straight, i moved in with him and when his gf that had just left him cut off all ties with him he broke down, would cry became depressed wouldnt eat lost weight wouldnt sleep.
I was going through so much on my end but i felt i had to be there for him so i kept my problems inside. I felt bad that he was so upset over his ex. on one hand i was like ';poor guy'; and on the other hand i was like ';wtf im supposed to be ur gf and your crying over someone else'; not over her obviously. after one night of leaving me at home to go hang out with her i broke down. It wasnt only her but he talked to all his serious ex gfs. all the time. he didnt have guy friends only ex gfs. so i told him that i didnt like that he was going to hang out with her even after i asked him not to and he said ';well dont ask me to stop talking to them cuz u know ill say no'; i decided i had to leave. hes really good with his words and i kno would try and convice me not to leave so i left while he was outta town for the weekend. he begged me to come back but i said i needed to think and he said ';no its yes or no'; so i said no not right now. about a week later he got really depressed i think its because hes never had a gf break up with him and he just had 2 do it with in 4 months. i asked him about a week later it he would take me back cuz i missed him and i just needed to think straight, (you have to understand im going through a divorce)
he said no, that he likes being alone he hasnt been for a long time. But its ike a week! after some hurtful exchanges of words, we agreeed to be friends and family lol so i found him a new place to rent and told him that i would lend him money if he didnt have enough and id pay for his DD. but whenever i try to talk to him its like he doesnt give a ****. I still love him and want to be with him, he said before that i gave up on us, and i did and i feel like hes already moved on and gotten over me. and im still here upset. and it makes me think it he was just using me for emotional support, and half the rent because he just doesnt even care now, and after all that im STILL doing for him he cant give me the time of day. I know hes really good at hiding how he feels, but i find that if you are helpful and good he doesnt give a ****, but if your a ***** to him then he pursues you. What should i do? i still have hopes that he will want me back one day. am i just being a fool? help plzHow do you move on from someone?
How are you affording to give him rent money when you didn't even have a job?
I think it's time to put on your big girl panties, and get yourself your own place for you and your daughter. All that moving and turmoil's got to be hard on her. I know how hard it can be to try %26amp; date with a child, but I say leave the losers alone and take a break... If the RIGHT guy approaches YOU then go for it. But quick chasing guys that are just not that into you.How do you move on from someone?
messy, just need to use your brains n get away from the 2 guys. raise the kid with child support,
stop dreaming n getting into messy relationship n get an education. Without education n job, you will be in no control of your life, You will cause problems to yourself n your kid. Stop day dreaming, life is not about this cousin of yours...he obviously like his exgf n it was good they left him. you spend your time on this kind of nonsense, please start building a proper future.
wait. your dating/dated your cousin?
you have no job, but your helping him with his financial issues?
this is so messed up.
just leave him alone, and find a better guy who can take care of you and your child.
geez. grow up
Wow, this is some Jerry Springer stuff.
(1) Get out of both of these relationships.
(2) Get a job to support yourself.
(3) Go after child support
(4) Look into continuing your education.
(5) Don't look back.
You need to do what is right for you and your child. That should be your priority, not making these two losers happy. Focus on YOU and YOUR CHILD.
Friday, August 20, 2010
I don't recognize my best friend any more since she got married. I need your help!!?
ok. the thing is:
my best friend married a guy about a year ago.
No one could understand why she did that (neither could I). She met this guy, fell head over heels in love with him and married him right away.
We (her closest friends) knew her first marriage was a failure, but 2 years after she got divorced, she seemed completely over it. She has an excellent job (she earns quite a lot) and has a beautiful, sweet and intelligent 3-year-old daughter from that first marriage.
Then she met this idiot and married him. I mean鈥?I can't understand what's going on with her! I've always known her as a strong and determined woman I admired, but when she married him everything changed. The guy behaves like a dictator who bosses her around and controls every step she makes(he tries to boss and control everyone else as well by the way). Before they got married he immediately demanded her to get rid of the child or he wouldn't marry her. She did it. She gave her ex immediately full custody of the girl and barely saw her again since then because her husband doesn't want her to.
The guy is SO annoying! I think she is the only person in the world who can put up with him at all.
I can't understand why she is with that piece of trash (I am sorry for using such words). The man is ugly as the sin, he's probably the grossest person I've ever met, he stinks (no one can get close to him), doesn't have any education and he's really discussing and when it comes to hygiene he says that no hygiene at all is good because that makes you immune system stronger.
He's SO gross鈥?he is always talking about sex and, looks really discussing and has no manners at all, everywhere even when there are people around. He burps as loud as he can, (I heard him fart a few times as well) and talks about committing suicide all the time!
And and and鈥?lots of other things. He is always making problems and conflicts with everyone. It's the only thing he can do.
My best friend almost picked him up from the streets. When she met him he was miserable, was sick, was always moving from one place to another, was hungry鈥?br>
but I think if she wants to make any charity work, she doesn't have to take such people home with her, nor marry them as well. The guy never worked again. He says that since they are married, she has the obligation to give him money.
I never could understand why she married him! She once told me with a big smile on her face that he is great in bed.
She is been acting cold and distant since she met him. (The guy scares me. He's like a dictator who has to be obeyed at any costs)
Our relationship is not the same anymore. I miss her. I miss our friendship. How can I get her back?I don't recognize my best friend any more since she got married. I need your help!!?
first of all, the guy seems like a total jerk! but i think you should sit your friend down and have a serious talk, don't just tell her what all the terrible things you see in him... first ask her what she thinks when she see's him, ask her if she's really truely happy, and ask her if she's gonna miss her daughter.
and after that depending on her responce then explain to her that she really does derserve better, and the right guy is out there... but the man she married isn't.
but if she's truely happy, and she's in total and complete love with him... there's nothing you can do but just hope for the best and pray for her.I don't recognize my best friend any more since she got married. I need your help!!?
Sounds like your friend has lost the important things in her life and has given them up.This is not something anyone can understand,and one day she will wonder the same thing.It is a good thing that she gave the child to her ex as no telling what could have happened.You have tried to be a good friend and one day she will need you and your shoulder to cry a mountain of tears
Sounds like a situation I had with my best friend. Unfortunately you just have to wait it out and hope she comes to her senses. My bff didn't dump her kids with her ex, but she didn't say anything when her new husband was verbally abusive to them. Every time I pointed out something horrible about him, she would laugh it off. If you push too hard, then when she does leave him she won't return to being friends with you. She'll resent you. I just had to keep my mouth shut and be as supportive as possible, and when she finally came to her senses, I helped her pack.
Also, sounds like she needs serious therapy. He sounds controlling, maybe even abusive. Nothing you can do. She needs to wake up and get help for herself.
my best friend married a guy about a year ago.
No one could understand why she did that (neither could I). She met this guy, fell head over heels in love with him and married him right away.
We (her closest friends) knew her first marriage was a failure, but 2 years after she got divorced, she seemed completely over it. She has an excellent job (she earns quite a lot) and has a beautiful, sweet and intelligent 3-year-old daughter from that first marriage.
Then she met this idiot and married him. I mean鈥?I can't understand what's going on with her! I've always known her as a strong and determined woman I admired, but when she married him everything changed. The guy behaves like a dictator who bosses her around and controls every step she makes(he tries to boss and control everyone else as well by the way). Before they got married he immediately demanded her to get rid of the child or he wouldn't marry her. She did it. She gave her ex immediately full custody of the girl and barely saw her again since then because her husband doesn't want her to.
The guy is SO annoying! I think she is the only person in the world who can put up with him at all.
I can't understand why she is with that piece of trash (I am sorry for using such words). The man is ugly as the sin, he's probably the grossest person I've ever met, he stinks (no one can get close to him), doesn't have any education and he's really discussing and when it comes to hygiene he says that no hygiene at all is good because that makes you immune system stronger.
He's SO gross鈥?he is always talking about sex and, looks really discussing and has no manners at all, everywhere even when there are people around. He burps as loud as he can, (I heard him fart a few times as well) and talks about committing suicide all the time!
And and and鈥?lots of other things. He is always making problems and conflicts with everyone. It's the only thing he can do.
My best friend almost picked him up from the streets. When she met him he was miserable, was sick, was always moving from one place to another, was hungry鈥?br>
but I think if she wants to make any charity work, she doesn't have to take such people home with her, nor marry them as well. The guy never worked again. He says that since they are married, she has the obligation to give him money.
I never could understand why she married him! She once told me with a big smile on her face that he is great in bed.
She is been acting cold and distant since she met him. (The guy scares me. He's like a dictator who has to be obeyed at any costs)
Our relationship is not the same anymore. I miss her. I miss our friendship. How can I get her back?I don't recognize my best friend any more since she got married. I need your help!!?
first of all, the guy seems like a total jerk! but i think you should sit your friend down and have a serious talk, don't just tell her what all the terrible things you see in him... first ask her what she thinks when she see's him, ask her if she's really truely happy, and ask her if she's gonna miss her daughter.
and after that depending on her responce then explain to her that she really does derserve better, and the right guy is out there... but the man she married isn't.
but if she's truely happy, and she's in total and complete love with him... there's nothing you can do but just hope for the best and pray for her.I don't recognize my best friend any more since she got married. I need your help!!?
Sounds like your friend has lost the important things in her life and has given them up.This is not something anyone can understand,and one day she will wonder the same thing.It is a good thing that she gave the child to her ex as no telling what could have happened.You have tried to be a good friend and one day she will need you and your shoulder to cry a mountain of tears
Sounds like a situation I had with my best friend. Unfortunately you just have to wait it out and hope she comes to her senses. My bff didn't dump her kids with her ex, but she didn't say anything when her new husband was verbally abusive to them. Every time I pointed out something horrible about him, she would laugh it off. If you push too hard, then when she does leave him she won't return to being friends with you. She'll resent you. I just had to keep my mouth shut and be as supportive as possible, and when she finally came to her senses, I helped her pack.
Also, sounds like she needs serious therapy. He sounds controlling, maybe even abusive. Nothing you can do. She needs to wake up and get help for herself.
I really need to know the name of this song? it's dedicated to Speedy Loc -r.i.p.?
all of his friends,family,loved ones wrote this one rap for him, it's about 7 or 8 minutes. here are the lyrics that i can remember.
PLEASEE tell me if you know the name of the song.
when i put '...' i either dont know what they said, or cant remember.
if i put '?' i took my best guess at what they said, or i at least tried.
please help me out. (best answer spot will be garanteeed!!!!)
-----------------------
[some shoutouts from family starts off the song]
i miss you.
i wish you could come back.
i love you daddy.
i dont know why'd you have to go up there?
DADDY.? why'd you go?
i dedicated this song for the love and memory of my baby brother,
we didnt have the same father, wes was born with same mother.
we werent from the same hood not even the same city.
his albums were always positve mine were always shitty.
and i still remember the first day i was introduced to him,
it bugs me, it almost got ugly,they told me later that they were gonna rush me?
but we worked it out.now let me begin just to finish? and it bugs me that i had
a hommie that stars the limit??
without speedy low. everything he did was from the heart.
he rapped and reped hommies, got top 50 on the charts
a good father,four sons.to his wife, good husband.
always good brother and loved son to his mother.
speedy low repped the east bay 510 and the 14. ......and loved dacodo.
and it broke my heart, watching you breathe your last breath.
and it hurt the same way carring your last steps.
seems like everytime i get passed the bad times.pain follows pain like
kids in the lunch line.
but nevermind im tired of pain and sorrow i'd give up today just to see you tomorrow.
one more day,one more minute one more second.14 shots to the hommie that didnt make it
speedy low, not just a low? to me, you were what a good friend was supposed to be.
when i was down and out,and nothing was happening. you opened up the door when you
found out i was rappin .laced? me on the game kept me from rain.
stayed close to my creator..... it was the young love we had. father at 14.
before you pasted away you embrassed your whole dream...i'll remember you always,
drifting on your memory me and you like in the old days.
Speedy low in your honnor we keep it moving. where stars the limit.
in your honnor we keep prosusing. the dreams we shared. to kick down doors up
in this rap game. but since you left, things aint never been the same. and man i swear bro.
bro, this the hardest verse i've even wrote my eyes are getting blurry and i got
a not up in my throat. man its hard to cope. remembering times we shared.
doing things we uses to do my homes but now you arnt there.life isnt fair.
but how to explain that to your children, and now one memory of you, i wouldnt
sell that for a million. now i got the feeling, as i sit here dreaming casually.
i wanna tell you margrot things are getting better gradually.
Now im part of the family,got father that bugs...
and how it hurts,losing one of your closest. i'll never let your memory die
speedy i hope you know this.
why do they take,
take all the good away.
we'll never know.
until we gooo.
tell me if i, heard a thousand stories...[not doing this part]
i look back at the first day i met you and your bro
you showed me nothing but love when i walked through the door.
you took me in like i was family and i love you for that.
..........i would always have your back...the stars the limit..
i remember when you broke it all down for me..... we became a family,
and overcome any treaditgy but i never thought anything like this would ever happen.
see, through the hards times,you kept your heads up to the stars,
there aint no end to the amount of respect for you that i have in my heart.
but everything came crashing down when i got that phone call.
....my knees but all i could do was fall. for countless hours hommie we
stayed right by your bedside trying to hold back the pain and tears
that we felt inside.you were surrounded by your lovedones till your last breath.
and we gonna keep yo dream alive till our last breath. but now you know
we gotta keep it moving on, but everyday that passes man it seem like the
pain keeps growing strong. i find myself thingh bout your kids all the time,
and how there copping feelings in these trying times...
but no matter what hommie i know your right there by there side,
and as they grow there gonna know there daddy was one of a kindd.
why do they take,
take all the good away.
we'll never know.
until we gooo.
why do they take,
take all the good away.
we'll never know.
until we gooo.
first and formal i wantya to know i miss ya.[not doing this one either]
.....i would smash on anybody disrespecting you.
[some messages from all his friends,family, and loved oness]
wassup speedy bro,...neva had ****,... down on 9th street
and our hearts are still there,
rest in peace,from yo boy 'lil con?
rest in peaceI really need to know the name of this song? it's dedicated to Speedy Loc -r.i.p.?
R.I.P. Speedy Loc. I never heard that before sorry I can't help.I really need to know the name of this song? it's dedicated to Speedy Loc -r.i.p.?
No way in hell ima read all that.
PLEASEE tell me if you know the name of the song.
when i put '...' i either dont know what they said, or cant remember.
if i put '?' i took my best guess at what they said, or i at least tried.
please help me out. (best answer spot will be garanteeed!!!!)
-----------------------
[some shoutouts from family starts off the song]
i miss you.
i wish you could come back.
i love you daddy.
i dont know why'd you have to go up there?
DADDY.? why'd you go?
i dedicated this song for the love and memory of my baby brother,
we didnt have the same father, wes was born with same mother.
we werent from the same hood not even the same city.
his albums were always positve mine were always shitty.
and i still remember the first day i was introduced to him,
it bugs me, it almost got ugly,they told me later that they were gonna rush me?
but we worked it out.now let me begin just to finish? and it bugs me that i had
a hommie that stars the limit??
without speedy low. everything he did was from the heart.
he rapped and reped hommies, got top 50 on the charts
a good father,four sons.to his wife, good husband.
always good brother and loved son to his mother.
speedy low repped the east bay 510 and the 14. ......and loved dacodo.
and it broke my heart, watching you breathe your last breath.
and it hurt the same way carring your last steps.
seems like everytime i get passed the bad times.pain follows pain like
kids in the lunch line.
but nevermind im tired of pain and sorrow i'd give up today just to see you tomorrow.
one more day,one more minute one more second.14 shots to the hommie that didnt make it
speedy low, not just a low? to me, you were what a good friend was supposed to be.
when i was down and out,and nothing was happening. you opened up the door when you
found out i was rappin .laced? me on the game kept me from rain.
stayed close to my creator..... it was the young love we had. father at 14.
before you pasted away you embrassed your whole dream...i'll remember you always,
drifting on your memory me and you like in the old days.
Speedy low in your honnor we keep it moving. where stars the limit.
in your honnor we keep prosusing. the dreams we shared. to kick down doors up
in this rap game. but since you left, things aint never been the same. and man i swear bro.
bro, this the hardest verse i've even wrote my eyes are getting blurry and i got
a not up in my throat. man its hard to cope. remembering times we shared.
doing things we uses to do my homes but now you arnt there.life isnt fair.
but how to explain that to your children, and now one memory of you, i wouldnt
sell that for a million. now i got the feeling, as i sit here dreaming casually.
i wanna tell you margrot things are getting better gradually.
Now im part of the family,got father that bugs...
and how it hurts,losing one of your closest. i'll never let your memory die
speedy i hope you know this.
why do they take,
take all the good away.
we'll never know.
until we gooo.
tell me if i, heard a thousand stories...[not doing this part]
i look back at the first day i met you and your bro
you showed me nothing but love when i walked through the door.
you took me in like i was family and i love you for that.
..........i would always have your back...the stars the limit..
i remember when you broke it all down for me..... we became a family,
and overcome any treaditgy but i never thought anything like this would ever happen.
see, through the hards times,you kept your heads up to the stars,
there aint no end to the amount of respect for you that i have in my heart.
but everything came crashing down when i got that phone call.
....my knees but all i could do was fall. for countless hours hommie we
stayed right by your bedside trying to hold back the pain and tears
that we felt inside.you were surrounded by your lovedones till your last breath.
and we gonna keep yo dream alive till our last breath. but now you know
we gotta keep it moving on, but everyday that passes man it seem like the
pain keeps growing strong. i find myself thingh bout your kids all the time,
and how there copping feelings in these trying times...
but no matter what hommie i know your right there by there side,
and as they grow there gonna know there daddy was one of a kindd.
why do they take,
take all the good away.
we'll never know.
until we gooo.
why do they take,
take all the good away.
we'll never know.
until we gooo.
first and formal i wantya to know i miss ya.[not doing this one either]
.....i would smash on anybody disrespecting you.
[some messages from all his friends,family, and loved oness]
wassup speedy bro,...neva had ****,... down on 9th street
and our hearts are still there,
rest in peace,from yo boy 'lil con?
rest in peaceI really need to know the name of this song? it's dedicated to Speedy Loc -r.i.p.?
R.I.P. Speedy Loc. I never heard that before sorry I can't help.I really need to know the name of this song? it's dedicated to Speedy Loc -r.i.p.?
No way in hell ima read all that.
Are Firemen just brave men or brave ordinary men doing an extraordinary Job?
I reckon so, Cos they do what we cant, Everytime the siren goes these men and women put themselves in harms way to protect us
Provider navigation:
Summary | Newstalk ZB | NZPA
Wednesday April 30, 04:35 PM
Trapped, injured firefighter put himself in survival mode
Enlarge image
A firefighter badly hurt in a coolstore explosion says he went into survival mode as he lay trapped in the inferno with half his face hanging off.
Brian Halford and Alvin Walker were caught in the April 5 blast which ripped through the Icepak Coolstore at Tamahere on the outskirts of Hamilton.
It fatally injured Derek Lovell and injured seven other firemen.
In his first public words about the incident, Mr Halford today said part of the building fell on top of him as he lay badly injured.
';My breathing was raspy, gurgly,'; he told a Hamilton fire station media conference with four of seven firefighters hurt on April 5.
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';I was losing my airway. I was going unconscious and at that point it was like, `calm down, sort your crap out and get on top of this sort of thing', so I pretty much went into a survival mode.
';I got my breathing under control, got my airway under control and thought, `right stay conscious. If you lose consciousness then you have pretty much had it'.';
Mr Halford told reporters he briefly thought he would die.
If it was not for the civilian heroes who dragged he and Mr Walker out of the burning building, they probably both would have died, he said.
Moments after the explosion he knew he was badly injured.
';My face was off from about the nose, the bottom of my eye. It was all just sitting on my shoulder.
';There was a lot of blood.
';The guys who found me thought I had no eyes and no face, so it would have been very horrific for them to see.
';They were having nightmares so they had to come and see me to get a little bit of closure for themselves.';
He said his civilian rescuers were the heroes.
';If they hadn't been there, particularly a couple of guys who don't want to be known to the media, we wouldn't be here.
';There were a lot of surgeons there at the time and doctors at Tamahere and if they hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here.';
Mr Halford met his civilian rescuers in hospital.
';What do you say? The only thanks they wanted was to see my face and to see me interact with my children.';
Before the blast he was a keen runner.
';I am not running now. If I were to, the face would probably fall off, but I am doing a lot of walking.';
Mr Walker, who had head injuries and broken ribs, said the incident had led to a far closer bond with the community and within the firefighting family.
He did not know how to say thank you to the people who rescued them.
';We need to get together and definitely buy them a beer. My wife gave them the biggest hug ever. Someone gave them their husband back.';
When he returned to the front line, he would face every day as it came.
';I am looking forward to getting back. That's what I love to do, help other people. That's why I joined the job,'; Mr Walker said.
He rated the pain level about eight out of 10, and said he had not properly grieved for Mr Lovell, who died from his injuries the night of the fire.
He was close to tears when he left hospital to go to Mr Lovell's funeral.
';The people who actually saved us and who had worked on us had formed a guard of honour for us.
';Really, we should have been doing that for them. Those are the real heroes, the people who worked on us and the people who carried on working and the people who rescued us.';
Adrian Brown, who was badly burnt on his hands and face, was released from hospital six days ago.
The response from the Morrinsville community where he lived had moved him.
Cameron Grylls returned to duty two days ago and said one of the biggest hurdles was leaving his family to go to work.
';It is hard to describe. It is something that I wasn't quite expecting to be that hard,'; Mr Grylls said.
Like Mr Walker, Dennis Wells had yet to accept Mr Lovell was dead.
';I probably won't until I get back to work. I was unconscious the whole time. I remember absolutely nothing until the next day.
';I remember them telling me about Derek and I couldn't accept it then. I still expect him to walk in the door and give me some flak.';
He had no second thoughts about getting out of his hospital bed to go to Mr Lovell's funeral.
';He was my mate, I had to, I had to. It was my last chance to say something.
';I can't stress how much we owe those people at Tamahere. If they hadn't had that gala day ... there would be at least another three dead firemen.
';We were so, so lucky. If something was going to go wrong it could not have gone wrong at a better place and at a better time.';
The most seriously hurt firefighter, Merv Neil, was still in a critical condition in the burns unit at Middlemore Hospital in Auckland.Are Firemen just brave men or brave ordinary men doing an extraordinary Job?
Fire fighters the world over are incredibly brave people. They can never predict what will happen on any given call, yet they go out and put their lives on the line for us!
It would be nice if we had Fire Fighters' and Police Officers' Day! They deserve to be recognized!Are Firemen just brave men or brave ordinary men doing an extraordinary Job?
Thanks for the BA! I Have talked to our Mayor about this idea, he said he would look into it. He says it is a long hard process, but I am game to keep at it!
They are brave!!
yes. and they're hot
They are putting their lives on the lines for out very existance. I don't know about you but I think that is one of the most nobel, honourable things anyone could do.
Good on you mates.
uhhh well i think it's pretty obvious that they're brave cuz ya know they put out enormous fires and stuff
i also think it's pretty obvious they're doing a job because yeah, they're working, they're getting paid, so yeah, they're doing a job
so yeah, after all of that really really complex analysis, i'm STILL NOT VERY SURE but i THINK it's safe to say that yeah, firefighters are brave dudes who have jobs.
I MIGHT BE WRONG THOUGH AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH
THE WORLD IS SO COMPLEX
Brave ordinary men doing an extraordinary job
at times we had to go into survival mode
we all carried a DSU ( distress signal unit ) a small alarm like a torch that gave of a right high note you only set it of if you were in real trouble %26amp; hopped for the best
Both, Brave %26amp; extraordinary!!!prom hair guy myspace
Provider navigation:
Summary | Newstalk ZB | NZPA
Wednesday April 30, 04:35 PM
Trapped, injured firefighter put himself in survival mode
Enlarge image
A firefighter badly hurt in a coolstore explosion says he went into survival mode as he lay trapped in the inferno with half his face hanging off.
Brian Halford and Alvin Walker were caught in the April 5 blast which ripped through the Icepak Coolstore at Tamahere on the outskirts of Hamilton.
It fatally injured Derek Lovell and injured seven other firemen.
In his first public words about the incident, Mr Halford today said part of the building fell on top of him as he lay badly injured.
';My breathing was raspy, gurgly,'; he told a Hamilton fire station media conference with four of seven firefighters hurt on April 5.
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';I was losing my airway. I was going unconscious and at that point it was like, `calm down, sort your crap out and get on top of this sort of thing', so I pretty much went into a survival mode.
';I got my breathing under control, got my airway under control and thought, `right stay conscious. If you lose consciousness then you have pretty much had it'.';
Mr Halford told reporters he briefly thought he would die.
If it was not for the civilian heroes who dragged he and Mr Walker out of the burning building, they probably both would have died, he said.
Moments after the explosion he knew he was badly injured.
';My face was off from about the nose, the bottom of my eye. It was all just sitting on my shoulder.
';There was a lot of blood.
';The guys who found me thought I had no eyes and no face, so it would have been very horrific for them to see.
';They were having nightmares so they had to come and see me to get a little bit of closure for themselves.';
He said his civilian rescuers were the heroes.
';If they hadn't been there, particularly a couple of guys who don't want to be known to the media, we wouldn't be here.
';There were a lot of surgeons there at the time and doctors at Tamahere and if they hadn't been there, I wouldn't be here.';
Mr Halford met his civilian rescuers in hospital.
';What do you say? The only thanks they wanted was to see my face and to see me interact with my children.';
Before the blast he was a keen runner.
';I am not running now. If I were to, the face would probably fall off, but I am doing a lot of walking.';
Mr Walker, who had head injuries and broken ribs, said the incident had led to a far closer bond with the community and within the firefighting family.
He did not know how to say thank you to the people who rescued them.
';We need to get together and definitely buy them a beer. My wife gave them the biggest hug ever. Someone gave them their husband back.';
When he returned to the front line, he would face every day as it came.
';I am looking forward to getting back. That's what I love to do, help other people. That's why I joined the job,'; Mr Walker said.
He rated the pain level about eight out of 10, and said he had not properly grieved for Mr Lovell, who died from his injuries the night of the fire.
He was close to tears when he left hospital to go to Mr Lovell's funeral.
';The people who actually saved us and who had worked on us had formed a guard of honour for us.
';Really, we should have been doing that for them. Those are the real heroes, the people who worked on us and the people who carried on working and the people who rescued us.';
Adrian Brown, who was badly burnt on his hands and face, was released from hospital six days ago.
The response from the Morrinsville community where he lived had moved him.
Cameron Grylls returned to duty two days ago and said one of the biggest hurdles was leaving his family to go to work.
';It is hard to describe. It is something that I wasn't quite expecting to be that hard,'; Mr Grylls said.
Like Mr Walker, Dennis Wells had yet to accept Mr Lovell was dead.
';I probably won't until I get back to work. I was unconscious the whole time. I remember absolutely nothing until the next day.
';I remember them telling me about Derek and I couldn't accept it then. I still expect him to walk in the door and give me some flak.';
He had no second thoughts about getting out of his hospital bed to go to Mr Lovell's funeral.
';He was my mate, I had to, I had to. It was my last chance to say something.
';I can't stress how much we owe those people at Tamahere. If they hadn't had that gala day ... there would be at least another three dead firemen.
';We were so, so lucky. If something was going to go wrong it could not have gone wrong at a better place and at a better time.';
The most seriously hurt firefighter, Merv Neil, was still in a critical condition in the burns unit at Middlemore Hospital in Auckland.Are Firemen just brave men or brave ordinary men doing an extraordinary Job?
Fire fighters the world over are incredibly brave people. They can never predict what will happen on any given call, yet they go out and put their lives on the line for us!
It would be nice if we had Fire Fighters' and Police Officers' Day! They deserve to be recognized!Are Firemen just brave men or brave ordinary men doing an extraordinary Job?
Thanks for the BA! I Have talked to our Mayor about this idea, he said he would look into it. He says it is a long hard process, but I am game to keep at it!
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They are brave!!
yes. and they're hot
They are putting their lives on the lines for out very existance. I don't know about you but I think that is one of the most nobel, honourable things anyone could do.
Good on you mates.
uhhh well i think it's pretty obvious that they're brave cuz ya know they put out enormous fires and stuff
i also think it's pretty obvious they're doing a job because yeah, they're working, they're getting paid, so yeah, they're doing a job
so yeah, after all of that really really complex analysis, i'm STILL NOT VERY SURE but i THINK it's safe to say that yeah, firefighters are brave dudes who have jobs.
I MIGHT BE WRONG THOUGH AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH
THE WORLD IS SO COMPLEX
Brave ordinary men doing an extraordinary job
at times we had to go into survival mode
we all carried a DSU ( distress signal unit ) a small alarm like a torch that gave of a right high note you only set it of if you were in real trouble %26amp; hopped for the best
Both, Brave %26amp; extraordinary!!!
Is this a good MAID OF HONOR speech!?!?
Good Evening! For those of you who don't know me, I am Rachael, the very proud little sister of our glamorous Bride. I want to start by congratulating Grant and Jessica, and thanking all of you for coming here tonight.
I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you horrible stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
As far advice for my new brother in law: Grant, do not try to cuddle with her when she sleeps. I tried this, and every single night she would scream at me “Rachael, get off me!” But as soon as she fell back asleep, I would slide my leg back around her!
Jessica, you look absolutely gorgeous today. Two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. Tight knit. Close as close can be. Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationships, I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From you claiming that Grant wasn’t going to propose for many years, to me being jealous because of all the flowers Grant would send you ‘just because’. I always knew he was the one for you. When I got that phone call when you were in Nashville, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you. As you begin this new chapter in your life, I will still look to you for guidance because you helped me get this far. How blessed I am to have a big sister like you! Congratulations to my playmate, my mentor, my role model, my sister, and my best friend.
I've always heard that when two people get married, their nuptials have a positive effect on their community. Like someone dropping a pebble into still water, your love sends out ripples of happiness to everyone around u. It brings joy to those who have already said, “I do” as they fondly remember their wedding day. It brings hope to those who are still looking for that special someone.%26amp; it shows young children what they have to look forward to when they grow up. Two people brought together by the bonds of love %26amp; united in marriage are a powerful force. You bring happiness to those who are here to bear witness %26amp; those who couldn't attend, but carry you in their hearts. Emily Bronte once said: “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Jessica %26amp; Grant, Your souls ARE the same, you make a perfect couple, you truly deserve each other and I know You WILL both have a long and happy life together.
Please raise your glass as I toast to my sister and her husband:
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after! Cheers!Is this a good MAID OF HONOR speech!?!?
Eliminate the two paragraphs below (they are awful). The rest makes a very nice speech.
I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you horrible stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
As far advice for my new brother in law: Grant, do not try to cuddle with her when she sleeps. I tried this, and every single night she would scream at me “Rachael, get off me!” But as soon as she fell back asleep, I would slide my leg back around her!Is this a good MAID OF HONOR speech!?!?
get rid of the paragraph that reads '; as far as advice'; and the entire paragraph after the first sentence ';jessica you look gorgeous today'; get rid of the whole paragraph after that. keep the first paragraph, and the second, it is a little funny, and the one that starts, '; ive always heard';
the reason to get rid of the two i have indicated is because they are personal between you and your older sister and are far far far far too intimate and personal to be included in what is just to be a short toast to the couple.
this toast is not about you or you and your sister and your past. make that part of the toast at the reheasal dinner the night before if you must. but it is never ever ever correct or smart to say things like this at someones wedding reception, the other parts are fine. you are a good sister to care about this, and i think it is very very smart of you to be prepared with words to say, cause i have been to weddings where bestmen fumble thru toasts they did not bother to prepare and that does not reflect well on the bride and groom. good for you that you care so much!!!!!!
sniffle, sniffle, she is gonna love that.
i hope my sister works this hard for my day....
it only looks long but when its being said it wont be and i think i see the humor and respect in those last paragraphs.
sounds good to me!!
Great starters. So me I would say eliminate the fourth paragraph and you got a winner. I don't care for that part. Keep it light. Plus someone like me who doesn't know the family and hear the jealous part is not that great. Kind of Too Much Info and typical. That paragraph kinda talks too much about you sister and not enough about marriage like the following verse. Be sure to look both in the eyes as you talk and speak from your heart because I already felt it in your speech. Elimiate - ';Two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. Tight knit. Close as close can be. Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationships, I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From you claiming that Grant wasn’t going to propose for many years, to me being jealous because of all the flowers Grant would send you ‘just because’. I always knew he was the one for you. When I got that phone call when you were in Nashville, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you.
u should say something like i never knew grant before my sister so i can't tell u funny embarassing stories about him...instead of horrible.
and as far as the advice for grant it sounds a lil weird (no offense) maybe u should take that out.
I think it's great but just try to maybe cut it down a little. it seems a little long for a speech at a wedding. but if not it is a very sweet nice speech! GOOD LUCK!!
Why are you giving a speech???
Only the father of the bride (or the person who is paying for the wedding) is supposed to give a speech welcoming everyone to the wedding.
Then the best man is supposed to give a toast, a short toast, not a speech.
Maybe you can give your speech at the rehearsal dinner, but no one wants to listen to you when they ought to be dancing.
I love it. it made me teary eyed, however when you said that you couldnt tell horrible stories about Grant I would say I can't tell you funny and embaresing (im horrible at spelling?) about him. Good Luck!
It's very good.
One minor tweek. I would start by thanking the guests for attending and skip the ';for those that don't know me'; simply say, I'm Rachel, etc.
And also, I wouldn't say that you didn;t know him before he dated your sister, that's pretty much irrelevant and the following remark has a somewhat negative vibe.
Advising a newlywed couple not to cuddle is not apropiate, I know that you are trying to be funny, but it really isn't.
Shorten it up a little and you'll be fine.
Good luck
It is sweet, but a bit too long and detailed. I would leave out the last 2 paragraphs completely and take out the ';advice'; part, a few other little tweaks, and you have a fantastic speech....
Good Evening! I am Rachael, the very proud little sister of our glamorous Bride. I want to start by congratulating Grant and Jessica, and thanking all of you for coming here tonight.
I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you any embarrasing stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
Jessica, you look absolutely gorgeous today. Two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. Tight knit. Close as close can be. Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationships, I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From you claiming that Grant wasn’t going to propose for many years, to me being jealous because of all the flowers Grant would send you ‘just because’. I always knew he was the one for you. When I got that phone call when you were in Nashville, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you. As you begin this new chapter in your life, I will still look to you for guidance because you helped me get this far. How blessed I am to have a big sister like you! Congratulations to my playmate, my mentor, my role model, my sister, and my best friend.
Please raise your glass as I toast to my sister and her husband:
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after! Cheers!
----Good luck Rachael!
I agree w/ luvtoanswer! TMI and too wordy... keep in mind the bestman gets to speak too and usually the Father of the Bride. People don't want to be hearing speechs for an hour!
I have to agree with a previous answerer...PLEASE drop those 2 paragraphs (2 %26amp; 3). They sound really awkward, and if I were at the reception, it would make me rather uncomfortable. Also, it does seem just a tad long, even with taking out those paragraphs. It does convey your feelings for her, but there's just a few too many chichés. The last part is really great--cute and fun and sweet! If I were you, I'd do it like this:
Good Evening! For those of you who don't know me, I am Rachael, the proud little sister of the Bride. I want to start by congratulating Grant and Jessica, and thanking all of you for coming here tonight.
Jessica, Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationship--two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, tight knit--I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From the moment I heard you and Grant were engaged, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you because I know that he is the one for you. As you begin this new chapter in your life, I will still look to you for guidance because you helped me get this far. How blessed I am to have a big sister like you! Congratulations to my playmate, my role model, my sister, and my best friend.
Emily Bronte once said: “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Jessica %26amp; Grant, Your souls ARE the same, you make a perfect couple, you truly deserve each other and I know You WILL both have a long and happy life together.
Please raise your glass as I toast to my sister and her husband:
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after! Cheers!
I agree with Luv2Answer... eliminate paragraphs 2 %26amp; 3 (I never knew Grant.... and As far as advice....) and the rest is great!!!
Perfect except that instead of , ';I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you horrible stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
As far advice for my new brother in law: Grant, do not try to cuddle with her when she sleeps. I tried this, and every single night she would scream at me “Rachael, get off me!” But as soon as she fell back asleep, I would slide my leg back around her! ';, I would just say. ';I think that Jessica and Grant are so perfect for each other, and I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.';
Very lengthy. You will bore the crowd.People will begin to drift away. Nice but just shorten it up a bit
I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you horrible stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
As far advice for my new brother in law: Grant, do not try to cuddle with her when she sleeps. I tried this, and every single night she would scream at me “Rachael, get off me!” But as soon as she fell back asleep, I would slide my leg back around her!
Jessica, you look absolutely gorgeous today. Two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. Tight knit. Close as close can be. Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationships, I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From you claiming that Grant wasn’t going to propose for many years, to me being jealous because of all the flowers Grant would send you ‘just because’. I always knew he was the one for you. When I got that phone call when you were in Nashville, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you. As you begin this new chapter in your life, I will still look to you for guidance because you helped me get this far. How blessed I am to have a big sister like you! Congratulations to my playmate, my mentor, my role model, my sister, and my best friend.
I've always heard that when two people get married, their nuptials have a positive effect on their community. Like someone dropping a pebble into still water, your love sends out ripples of happiness to everyone around u. It brings joy to those who have already said, “I do” as they fondly remember their wedding day. It brings hope to those who are still looking for that special someone.%26amp; it shows young children what they have to look forward to when they grow up. Two people brought together by the bonds of love %26amp; united in marriage are a powerful force. You bring happiness to those who are here to bear witness %26amp; those who couldn't attend, but carry you in their hearts. Emily Bronte once said: “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Jessica %26amp; Grant, Your souls ARE the same, you make a perfect couple, you truly deserve each other and I know You WILL both have a long and happy life together.
Please raise your glass as I toast to my sister and her husband:
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after! Cheers!Is this a good MAID OF HONOR speech!?!?
Eliminate the two paragraphs below (they are awful). The rest makes a very nice speech.
I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you horrible stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
As far advice for my new brother in law: Grant, do not try to cuddle with her when she sleeps. I tried this, and every single night she would scream at me “Rachael, get off me!” But as soon as she fell back asleep, I would slide my leg back around her!Is this a good MAID OF HONOR speech!?!?
get rid of the paragraph that reads '; as far as advice'; and the entire paragraph after the first sentence ';jessica you look gorgeous today'; get rid of the whole paragraph after that. keep the first paragraph, and the second, it is a little funny, and the one that starts, '; ive always heard';
the reason to get rid of the two i have indicated is because they are personal between you and your older sister and are far far far far too intimate and personal to be included in what is just to be a short toast to the couple.
this toast is not about you or you and your sister and your past. make that part of the toast at the reheasal dinner the night before if you must. but it is never ever ever correct or smart to say things like this at someones wedding reception, the other parts are fine. you are a good sister to care about this, and i think it is very very smart of you to be prepared with words to say, cause i have been to weddings where bestmen fumble thru toasts they did not bother to prepare and that does not reflect well on the bride and groom. good for you that you care so much!!!!!!
sniffle, sniffle, she is gonna love that.
i hope my sister works this hard for my day....
it only looks long but when its being said it wont be and i think i see the humor and respect in those last paragraphs.
sounds good to me!!
Great starters. So me I would say eliminate the fourth paragraph and you got a winner. I don't care for that part. Keep it light. Plus someone like me who doesn't know the family and hear the jealous part is not that great. Kind of Too Much Info and typical. That paragraph kinda talks too much about you sister and not enough about marriage like the following verse. Be sure to look both in the eyes as you talk and speak from your heart because I already felt it in your speech. Elimiate - ';Two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. Tight knit. Close as close can be. Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationships, I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From you claiming that Grant wasn’t going to propose for many years, to me being jealous because of all the flowers Grant would send you ‘just because’. I always knew he was the one for you. When I got that phone call when you were in Nashville, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you.
u should say something like i never knew grant before my sister so i can't tell u funny embarassing stories about him...instead of horrible.
and as far as the advice for grant it sounds a lil weird (no offense) maybe u should take that out.
I think it's great but just try to maybe cut it down a little. it seems a little long for a speech at a wedding. but if not it is a very sweet nice speech! GOOD LUCK!!
Why are you giving a speech???
Only the father of the bride (or the person who is paying for the wedding) is supposed to give a speech welcoming everyone to the wedding.
Then the best man is supposed to give a toast, a short toast, not a speech.
Maybe you can give your speech at the rehearsal dinner, but no one wants to listen to you when they ought to be dancing.
I love it. it made me teary eyed, however when you said that you couldnt tell horrible stories about Grant I would say I can't tell you funny and embaresing (im horrible at spelling?) about him. Good Luck!
It's very good.
One minor tweek. I would start by thanking the guests for attending and skip the ';for those that don't know me'; simply say, I'm Rachel, etc.
And also, I wouldn't say that you didn;t know him before he dated your sister, that's pretty much irrelevant and the following remark has a somewhat negative vibe.
Advising a newlywed couple not to cuddle is not apropiate, I know that you are trying to be funny, but it really isn't.
Shorten it up a little and you'll be fine.
Good luck
It is sweet, but a bit too long and detailed. I would leave out the last 2 paragraphs completely and take out the ';advice'; part, a few other little tweaks, and you have a fantastic speech....
Good Evening! I am Rachael, the very proud little sister of our glamorous Bride. I want to start by congratulating Grant and Jessica, and thanking all of you for coming here tonight.
I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you any embarrasing stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
Jessica, you look absolutely gorgeous today. Two peas in a pod. Thick as thieves. Tight knit. Close as close can be. Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationships, I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From you claiming that Grant wasn’t going to propose for many years, to me being jealous because of all the flowers Grant would send you ‘just because’. I always knew he was the one for you. When I got that phone call when you were in Nashville, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you. As you begin this new chapter in your life, I will still look to you for guidance because you helped me get this far. How blessed I am to have a big sister like you! Congratulations to my playmate, my mentor, my role model, my sister, and my best friend.
Please raise your glass as I toast to my sister and her husband:
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after! Cheers!
----Good luck Rachael!
I agree w/ luvtoanswer! TMI and too wordy... keep in mind the bestman gets to speak too and usually the Father of the Bride. People don't want to be hearing speechs for an hour!
I have to agree with a previous answerer...PLEASE drop those 2 paragraphs (2 %26amp; 3). They sound really awkward, and if I were at the reception, it would make me rather uncomfortable. Also, it does seem just a tad long, even with taking out those paragraphs. It does convey your feelings for her, but there's just a few too many chichés. The last part is really great--cute and fun and sweet! If I were you, I'd do it like this:
Good Evening! For those of you who don't know me, I am Rachael, the proud little sister of the Bride. I want to start by congratulating Grant and Jessica, and thanking all of you for coming here tonight.
Jessica, Of all the terms and clichés that describe our relationship--two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, tight knit--I think the word sister says it best. I couldn’t have asked for more. I try everyday, to be more like you. From the moment I heard you and Grant were engaged, I was overwhelmed with happiness for you because I know that he is the one for you. As you begin this new chapter in your life, I will still look to you for guidance because you helped me get this far. How blessed I am to have a big sister like you! Congratulations to my playmate, my role model, my sister, and my best friend.
Emily Bronte once said: “Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” Jessica %26amp; Grant, Your souls ARE the same, you make a perfect couple, you truly deserve each other and I know You WILL both have a long and happy life together.
Please raise your glass as I toast to my sister and her husband:
Here’s to love, laughter, and happily ever after! Cheers!
I agree with Luv2Answer... eliminate paragraphs 2 %26amp; 3 (I never knew Grant.... and As far as advice....) and the rest is great!!!
Perfect except that instead of , ';I never knew Grant before he dated my sister, so I can't tell you horrible stories about him, but I can tell you that I think he is perfect for my sister!? I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.
As far advice for my new brother in law: Grant, do not try to cuddle with her when she sleeps. I tried this, and every single night she would scream at me “Rachael, get off me!” But as soon as she fell back asleep, I would slide my leg back around her! ';, I would just say. ';I think that Jessica and Grant are so perfect for each other, and I am very happy to welcome Grant into our family.';
Very lengthy. You will bore the crowd.People will begin to drift away. Nice but just shorten it up a bit
How can another person come into your home and betray the people who try to help them?
I am having a hard time understanding and trying to come to terms with a person who came into my home and betrayed me and my husband.
My daughter and I met a man name Jeff Davis who is 39 years old, who claimed that he was a really nice guy with 2 beautiful children. He wanted to move up near us to be near our family so him and his 2 children could get a fresh start. Well, he did move up here and we found out that he started having sex with our 18 year old daughter who is mentally challenged. He know she is mentally challenged and took advantage of her situation. When he finally came clean about what he did, he claimed it was all his fault but still points his fingers at her. My daughter not understanding what is happening, trying to come to grips of what has been done to her puts out questions here trying to get help. Jeff answers her questions by telling her that he loves her and that he didn't do anything wrong. My daughter comes to me right away to let me know what he done. When we confront him with the issue he starts brings down notes that was wrote way before we knew what was going on and claiming she just gave them to him and that she is still trying to be with him. My daughter wouldn't of told me and her father he answered her questions if she was trying to still be with him. She is so confused because she can't understand why he keeps lying on her and about how things between them happened. She cared about him and thought that he was in love with her. She heard him tell me he didn't want to marry her because he was already in a bad relationship. But to her he claimed that he wanted her and wanted to be with her forever. Now she knows the truth that he wants his wife back even though she cheated on him and left him to be with another man and doesn't want him back. Sitting here cying to me telling me that he loves his wife and would take her back if she just would ask him back. Then in the same breathe tells me he has been sleeping with my daughter. When I explode and start screaming at him that she is like a 7 or 8 year old mentallity, and how could he do this. All he could do is say it was a mistake and he couldn't help himself.
I have tried to forgive this man, but he continues to do things to betray us all. So what I done was moved my daughters ex boyfriend in here with us so she could be distracted by Jeff. She just fell for the ex boyfriend like they have never been appart all these years. The ex wants to marry my daughter and he has the same mentallity as she does. His just isn't as bad as her's is. But he does have the same disability. We have told this 21 year old boy he has our permission to be with out daughter and we would except him as a son-in-law. We are willing to take care of both of them. We love them both dearly and they make a perfect couple.
Now in the same sense, we still have Jeff in our home and he has to watch her with her happy with another guy. I can see it is driving him crazy. At some sick point I am enjoying watching him hurt. I know I am not right for this, but I am getting some little bit of satisfaction out of watching his pain to get over mine!
We have not put Jeff and his 2 kids out because of his children. We don't want to see 2 children on the streets. But I am not seeing any other way to get over this pain, but to put him out. Even though I feel for his children, I hate to know he is still in my home. All I want is for him to leave. I just don't want his children to suffer for his mistakes! It just isn't fare to them. That is why he is still in our home! NO other reason!
How can a person move into your home and betray a family that has done nothing but be good to him and his kids? How can I get over all this pain I feel for my daughter? How do I get revenge on this man without looking like the bad guy? What should we do?
PLEASE Help us! We really need some good advise on what we could do to get over the pain we are in. Please give some good advise, what we should do. Even if it means putting them out to the streets Would I be wrong? Please I am so confused and I need someone who is on the outside of the box to tell me what I should do on the inside of the box. Am I too close to the inside to see what I should do?
Please, Please, Please help me and my family!How can another person come into your home and betray the people who try to help them?
well if i was u i would let hem know
that he should have to get out that's the way
i see it through my eys because if u really think about
it was wrong for him to have done that i have never meet
anybody like this before that would i understand that there
is a lot of pain if sombody really loved your daughter like they said they do they would have never done something like the way he did
that is not love ooh if you kick him out you can fell the pain rise off your chest and have to look over your shoulders worrying about stuff
like what would happen when I have my back turned wondering is every
thing going to be the some because u heve more than one daughter thinging wonderig will she full in the same trape and it would suck if the
second daughter whent through it because this man has a sick mind bereal if you really thing about it the way i see it if he really loved her
he wouldont have done that to her mind people that are in love would have never done what he h didHow can another person come into your home and betray the people who try to help them?
all good and bad happens in this same world. god looks after the deeds of people, but u stop playing with fire. fire should be put off, it should not be played with even if it gives satisfaction in any case as it is in your case.
Mother,
I just wanted to let you know don't put him out NOT for him but for those 2 kids they do mean they world to me I have gotton so close to these kids it will kill me to see them go. Yes I do love Jeff still but I am not in love with him anymore because he broke my heart when he told you that I was they biggest misstake of his life and I do know this I got someone who loves me for me not my body but me mom I love jose I have my old feelings back that I havent had sence we left him when I was a little girl No I am not ready for a marrige but I do know I want to spend my life with jose and I want your trust and dads trust to let me go down stairs with out you 2 think is he going to mess with me because he isn't anymore you got my word if he says anything out of line I will go stright to Jose, you, and dad I promise I don't want to set up in a room intill you jose or dad get up please mom just trust me again you got my word on this ok I love you so much do you even know how it feels to be in a room intill your mom or dad or even boyfriend gets up to be able to go dwn staris please mom let me get my life right with Jose again but I want my life back to the way it was before I started messing with jeff ok
File a police report, bring charges of statutory rape. Even if she is of legal age the court will look at her mental age. He is an unfit parent, if his ex wife doesn't want the kids you should foster them.
Call the cops and put him out. What he did cant be legal. He is hiding behind his kids since he knows you want to b nice to them. Kick him out, before its too late.
My daughter and I met a man name Jeff Davis who is 39 years old, who claimed that he was a really nice guy with 2 beautiful children. He wanted to move up near us to be near our family so him and his 2 children could get a fresh start. Well, he did move up here and we found out that he started having sex with our 18 year old daughter who is mentally challenged. He know she is mentally challenged and took advantage of her situation. When he finally came clean about what he did, he claimed it was all his fault but still points his fingers at her. My daughter not understanding what is happening, trying to come to grips of what has been done to her puts out questions here trying to get help. Jeff answers her questions by telling her that he loves her and that he didn't do anything wrong. My daughter comes to me right away to let me know what he done. When we confront him with the issue he starts brings down notes that was wrote way before we knew what was going on and claiming she just gave them to him and that she is still trying to be with him. My daughter wouldn't of told me and her father he answered her questions if she was trying to still be with him. She is so confused because she can't understand why he keeps lying on her and about how things between them happened. She cared about him and thought that he was in love with her. She heard him tell me he didn't want to marry her because he was already in a bad relationship. But to her he claimed that he wanted her and wanted to be with her forever. Now she knows the truth that he wants his wife back even though she cheated on him and left him to be with another man and doesn't want him back. Sitting here cying to me telling me that he loves his wife and would take her back if she just would ask him back. Then in the same breathe tells me he has been sleeping with my daughter. When I explode and start screaming at him that she is like a 7 or 8 year old mentallity, and how could he do this. All he could do is say it was a mistake and he couldn't help himself.
I have tried to forgive this man, but he continues to do things to betray us all. So what I done was moved my daughters ex boyfriend in here with us so she could be distracted by Jeff. She just fell for the ex boyfriend like they have never been appart all these years. The ex wants to marry my daughter and he has the same mentallity as she does. His just isn't as bad as her's is. But he does have the same disability. We have told this 21 year old boy he has our permission to be with out daughter and we would except him as a son-in-law. We are willing to take care of both of them. We love them both dearly and they make a perfect couple.
Now in the same sense, we still have Jeff in our home and he has to watch her with her happy with another guy. I can see it is driving him crazy. At some sick point I am enjoying watching him hurt. I know I am not right for this, but I am getting some little bit of satisfaction out of watching his pain to get over mine!
We have not put Jeff and his 2 kids out because of his children. We don't want to see 2 children on the streets. But I am not seeing any other way to get over this pain, but to put him out. Even though I feel for his children, I hate to know he is still in my home. All I want is for him to leave. I just don't want his children to suffer for his mistakes! It just isn't fare to them. That is why he is still in our home! NO other reason!
How can a person move into your home and betray a family that has done nothing but be good to him and his kids? How can I get over all this pain I feel for my daughter? How do I get revenge on this man without looking like the bad guy? What should we do?
PLEASE Help us! We really need some good advise on what we could do to get over the pain we are in. Please give some good advise, what we should do. Even if it means putting them out to the streets Would I be wrong? Please I am so confused and I need someone who is on the outside of the box to tell me what I should do on the inside of the box. Am I too close to the inside to see what I should do?
Please, Please, Please help me and my family!How can another person come into your home and betray the people who try to help them?
well if i was u i would let hem know
that he should have to get out that's the way
i see it through my eys because if u really think about
it was wrong for him to have done that i have never meet
anybody like this before that would i understand that there
is a lot of pain if sombody really loved your daughter like they said they do they would have never done something like the way he did
that is not love ooh if you kick him out you can fell the pain rise off your chest and have to look over your shoulders worrying about stuff
like what would happen when I have my back turned wondering is every
thing going to be the some because u heve more than one daughter thinging wonderig will she full in the same trape and it would suck if the
second daughter whent through it because this man has a sick mind bereal if you really thing about it the way i see it if he really loved her
he wouldont have done that to her mind people that are in love would have never done what he h didHow can another person come into your home and betray the people who try to help them?
all good and bad happens in this same world. god looks after the deeds of people, but u stop playing with fire. fire should be put off, it should not be played with even if it gives satisfaction in any case as it is in your case.
Mother,
I just wanted to let you know don't put him out NOT for him but for those 2 kids they do mean they world to me I have gotton so close to these kids it will kill me to see them go. Yes I do love Jeff still but I am not in love with him anymore because he broke my heart when he told you that I was they biggest misstake of his life and I do know this I got someone who loves me for me not my body but me mom I love jose I have my old feelings back that I havent had sence we left him when I was a little girl No I am not ready for a marrige but I do know I want to spend my life with jose and I want your trust and dads trust to let me go down stairs with out you 2 think is he going to mess with me because he isn't anymore you got my word if he says anything out of line I will go stright to Jose, you, and dad I promise I don't want to set up in a room intill you jose or dad get up please mom just trust me again you got my word on this ok I love you so much do you even know how it feels to be in a room intill your mom or dad or even boyfriend gets up to be able to go dwn staris please mom let me get my life right with Jose again but I want my life back to the way it was before I started messing with jeff ok
File a police report, bring charges of statutory rape. Even if she is of legal age the court will look at her mental age. He is an unfit parent, if his ex wife doesn't want the kids you should foster them.
Call the cops and put him out. What he did cant be legal. He is hiding behind his kids since he knows you want to b nice to them. Kick him out, before its too late.
I finally put an end to my affair with a married woman... (worth reading) how do I move on?)?
Many people here know my story... I will tell it one last time as the story has ended now...
I fell in love with a married woman... I trusted her and gave her the best part of myself... She would show me love (or so I thought) and with all things and time we spent I really thought that we would be together.
I am a single man and I believed everything she told me... Even her mother was convincing after she betrayed me by disappearing one night and lying about were she was... I ended it... really ended it... I told her not to bother me anymore and to go on with her life... I even spoke to her mother (she has been living at her mums place for about 6 months now), and explained that I care for her and that she should look out for her as I was not going to be around anymore... So that was it...
Two days later she came and found me and went off about how she can not live wit out me and that she was not going to let me go, and that she will fight to have me in her life and I must say even though I had broken it off... I really actually allowed myself to believe her... she was so convincing and so determined... she said that in the next two days she would separate completely and be with me because she can not live with out me... I know I shouldn't have believed her... But I did... I gave in again... only to find out two days later that she was doing this guy form her work... everyone a new about it and every one made a fool of her as they all realized that she was just a slut... A guy from the cafeteria that she worked showed me a message that she sent... it said ';I want to suck your dick';... same thing she wrote to me and god knows to how many other guys...
I was furious... and mostly because of the fact that she had the nerve to disturb my peace just to lie about everything again...
I went and found her husband... he fell to his knees when I told him... I explained to him that I could not allow her to destroy and mess around with everybody's life as if we are her toys... when I saw his reaction... I could not tell him the whole truth... I held a lot back as I felt sorry for him and I could not see him in so much pain... I even called her and told her what I told her husband so that she can save her marriage... I don't know why I did that... I helped her in a way... I don't know why...
I went this morning to her work and returned a precious gift she once gave me... I did not talk to her... but I had to give it back as it was a symbol of her betrayal and I wanted nothing to do with anything that she ever gave me... she shouted at me to take it back... but I walked out and left her there...
Was I wrong?
Does she care?
Should I have done something else?
What will happen next?
Will she bother me do you think?
In any case I understand that I am to blame... but I will never understand why there had to be so much deception...
Please tell me what you think about the story... which is actually my life... I gave the best part of myself to some one that through it in the garbage...
I am curious about how she sees all this... how she will react... and if she cares that I have really left her now... Please give me as much feed back as you can as I would like to read your opinions about the end of the story...
THANK YOU ALL...I finally put an end to my affair with a married woman... (worth reading) how do I move on?)?
Yea…look you are on the right path….
….but by talking to mothers and husbands and now returning gifts you are inflaming the situation. These are the “metaphorical handgrenades” I have spoken about previously. I can’t really see how you could have done too much more damage to her in extracting yourself from that relationship – and I am afraid that this will come back to haunt you. She will be DARK.
You would know better than I do how she is likely to react. Not to be one to harp on about the past – what is done is done – but in doing what you have done (rather than just slipping away and making yourself scarce and letting things go a little cold) you have to confront the possible repercussions of what you have done. Be prepared for anything. Sexual harassment allegations at work. Sexual assault allegations. Angry husbands coming after you. Other, new lovers, big brut guys angry and heart broken after hearing stories about the depraved things you (allegedly) did to her.
Most people here said “break it off”. But I am worried that you did it a little too aggressively and wounding.
You may have felt hurt by her. But you have to, for your own safety and comfort, let her down gently (even if she does not deserve it). You will have to be disciplined. Disciplined. If she wants a cup of coffee to chat it over – you may have to go (and keep it in your pants). Take back the gift. Give lip service to the fact that it was fun (that part does not sound like it will be too hard). If she wants to see you after hours – buy her off on the spot by agreeing to meet her – but then text an apology and promise to reschedule. Attend occasionally, but reschedule less and less. Apologise. Listen. Agree to give her another chance – but fail to come through from your side.
The current economic climate is tough. You cannot let things poison your work – it could be devastating for you professionally and financially. If she is erratic enough – if she is wild and unstable enough to consider “mutually assured destruction” – just how much damage could she do to the two of you at work?
Back off. See other people – go missing. but stop inflaming the woman with these tormenting acts. You risk turning all that passion into rage and vengeance. If you are both as wildly passionate as you have indicated – then reversing the polarity of it all could see this ending like an Aesop tragedy.I finally put an end to my affair with a married woman... (worth reading) how do I move on?)?
I thought that the question was long until I saw the answer.
Hats off to you both.
Tolstoy would be proud.
you're better off without this skank. you did the right thing!
i feel sad for you.. i do. but reality is.. you knew she was a women of deception from the beginning because you knew she was married and was deceiving her husband with you. i believe the characteristics of a person is declared through their actions. in this case she showed you clearly what she was made of.. at the start. a hard lesson but good on you for finding the courage to bring this to an end. she sounds completely 'heartless'. take care x
you work with her? i don't know how you're gonna get over her if you see her everyday. i know now's really not the time, but i'd consider getting a new job just to avoid the stress of seeing her.
that is, if you're really committed to saying no to this once and for all. and i doubt that you are.
you may have feelings for this woman, but cold hard fact is staring you in the face: she does this with men regularly. this wasn't a one time thing, it's a game.
why is she not wracked with guilt? why isn't she tortured with the choice she has to make between her husband, you, the other guy, and everyone from accounting? because she's a dog, a player. she gets a thrill out of it. she doesn't want to fix it, she just wants to add to the mess.
also buddy, if she texted you ';i want to suck your dick,'; that's kind of a tip-off that she's a major ho. her texting that multiple times is just driving the point home. no one should pity you if you go back to her and inevitably get burnt.
I fell in love with a married woman... I trusted her and gave her the best part of myself... She would show me love (or so I thought) and with all things and time we spent I really thought that we would be together.
I am a single man and I believed everything she told me... Even her mother was convincing after she betrayed me by disappearing one night and lying about were she was... I ended it... really ended it... I told her not to bother me anymore and to go on with her life... I even spoke to her mother (she has been living at her mums place for about 6 months now), and explained that I care for her and that she should look out for her as I was not going to be around anymore... So that was it...
Two days later she came and found me and went off about how she can not live wit out me and that she was not going to let me go, and that she will fight to have me in her life and I must say even though I had broken it off... I really actually allowed myself to believe her... she was so convincing and so determined... she said that in the next two days she would separate completely and be with me because she can not live with out me... I know I shouldn't have believed her... But I did... I gave in again... only to find out two days later that she was doing this guy form her work... everyone a new about it and every one made a fool of her as they all realized that she was just a slut... A guy from the cafeteria that she worked showed me a message that she sent... it said ';I want to suck your dick';... same thing she wrote to me and god knows to how many other guys...
I was furious... and mostly because of the fact that she had the nerve to disturb my peace just to lie about everything again...
I went and found her husband... he fell to his knees when I told him... I explained to him that I could not allow her to destroy and mess around with everybody's life as if we are her toys... when I saw his reaction... I could not tell him the whole truth... I held a lot back as I felt sorry for him and I could not see him in so much pain... I even called her and told her what I told her husband so that she can save her marriage... I don't know why I did that... I helped her in a way... I don't know why...
I went this morning to her work and returned a precious gift she once gave me... I did not talk to her... but I had to give it back as it was a symbol of her betrayal and I wanted nothing to do with anything that she ever gave me... she shouted at me to take it back... but I walked out and left her there...
Was I wrong?
Does she care?
Should I have done something else?
What will happen next?
Will she bother me do you think?
In any case I understand that I am to blame... but I will never understand why there had to be so much deception...
Please tell me what you think about the story... which is actually my life... I gave the best part of myself to some one that through it in the garbage...
I am curious about how she sees all this... how she will react... and if she cares that I have really left her now... Please give me as much feed back as you can as I would like to read your opinions about the end of the story...
THANK YOU ALL...I finally put an end to my affair with a married woman... (worth reading) how do I move on?)?
Yea…look you are on the right path….
….but by talking to mothers and husbands and now returning gifts you are inflaming the situation. These are the “metaphorical handgrenades” I have spoken about previously. I can’t really see how you could have done too much more damage to her in extracting yourself from that relationship – and I am afraid that this will come back to haunt you. She will be DARK.
You would know better than I do how she is likely to react. Not to be one to harp on about the past – what is done is done – but in doing what you have done (rather than just slipping away and making yourself scarce and letting things go a little cold) you have to confront the possible repercussions of what you have done. Be prepared for anything. Sexual harassment allegations at work. Sexual assault allegations. Angry husbands coming after you. Other, new lovers, big brut guys angry and heart broken after hearing stories about the depraved things you (allegedly) did to her.
Most people here said “break it off”. But I am worried that you did it a little too aggressively and wounding.
You may have felt hurt by her. But you have to, for your own safety and comfort, let her down gently (even if she does not deserve it). You will have to be disciplined. Disciplined. If she wants a cup of coffee to chat it over – you may have to go (and keep it in your pants). Take back the gift. Give lip service to the fact that it was fun (that part does not sound like it will be too hard). If she wants to see you after hours – buy her off on the spot by agreeing to meet her – but then text an apology and promise to reschedule. Attend occasionally, but reschedule less and less. Apologise. Listen. Agree to give her another chance – but fail to come through from your side.
The current economic climate is tough. You cannot let things poison your work – it could be devastating for you professionally and financially. If she is erratic enough – if she is wild and unstable enough to consider “mutually assured destruction” – just how much damage could she do to the two of you at work?
Back off. See other people – go missing. but stop inflaming the woman with these tormenting acts. You risk turning all that passion into rage and vengeance. If you are both as wildly passionate as you have indicated – then reversing the polarity of it all could see this ending like an Aesop tragedy.I finally put an end to my affair with a married woman... (worth reading) how do I move on?)?
I thought that the question was long until I saw the answer.
Hats off to you both.
Tolstoy would be proud.
Report Abuse
you're better off without this skank. you did the right thing!
i feel sad for you.. i do. but reality is.. you knew she was a women of deception from the beginning because you knew she was married and was deceiving her husband with you. i believe the characteristics of a person is declared through their actions. in this case she showed you clearly what she was made of.. at the start. a hard lesson but good on you for finding the courage to bring this to an end. she sounds completely 'heartless'. take care x
you work with her? i don't know how you're gonna get over her if you see her everyday. i know now's really not the time, but i'd consider getting a new job just to avoid the stress of seeing her.
that is, if you're really committed to saying no to this once and for all. and i doubt that you are.
you may have feelings for this woman, but cold hard fact is staring you in the face: she does this with men regularly. this wasn't a one time thing, it's a game.
why is she not wracked with guilt? why isn't she tortured with the choice she has to make between her husband, you, the other guy, and everyone from accounting? because she's a dog, a player. she gets a thrill out of it. she doesn't want to fix it, she just wants to add to the mess.
also buddy, if she texted you ';i want to suck your dick,'; that's kind of a tip-off that she's a major ho. her texting that multiple times is just driving the point home. no one should pity you if you go back to her and inevitably get burnt.
Photography Assistant? Is it really worth it or is their a better way?
This is a two part question actually.
I want to become a professional photographer. Yeah I know, you've all heard this a million times. I know a lot of the basics of photography through 6 years of professional modeling but I know it will take years of hard work to build my career. I've met a lot of great people in this business who not only specialize in high fashion/editorial work but weddings and regular portraiture as well. I have fallen in love with this line of work and I want to make sure I take the right steps to begin. I was planning on learning through a photographer I have worked with many times through modeling where I live now (most of the great photographers I've met never went to formal schools to learn photography), but my husband got a job offer in Kansas and sadly now we are moving.
So here's my dilemma... I am planning to go back to school this fall at Kansas State University, majoring in Business. I know they have a photography program but I'd rather learn through experience. I have a Nikon D80 and I'm working on getting lights, meters, reflectors, etc. at this time. I also work with Adobe Lr 2.0 at the moment and prefer it to Photoshop CS3 because of it's simplified layouts and tools.
So, my first question is obviously should I try to find professional photographers in my area to work under as a ';photographers assistant'; or is it wise to learn on my own through trial and error while I'm in school?
I want a business degree because I know there are things in this business that a photography assistant will not be taught such as how to run the business end of photography successfully and I want that knowledge. I don't want to know how to answer phones or carry equipment I want real training and help which I would have had here through the friends I've made but I'm afraid some photographers aren't that open to just spilling techniques to total strangers. So any advice?
My second question is I've been referred to a photography text book list and course outline that they use at a great (and highly overpriced), art and design school so you can learn on your own exactly what they teach but these books are your standard overpriced college textbooks and I'm looking for some cheap places online to get photography textbooks for cheaper (I don't care if they're slightly used). Anyone have any sites for me to check out? I've also heard of websites for college students that allow you to read college textbooks online but I haven't found one that has anything on photography. I guess that major isn't as important as ';Liberal Arts'; or something (sarcasm). If anyone knows of a site where they do this I'd love to know... and I'm not talking about illegal torrents, more like the sites that boycott the fact that the people who make textbooks charge you 10 times what they should for them because they know they can.
Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance!Photography Assistant? Is it really worth it or is their a better way?
if you really like it why not becuase it sounds like you really want it no one can stop you from living your dream i mean photography that's nicePhotography Assistant? Is it really worth it or is their a better way?
Check Barnes and Nobles for used text books.
Sounds like you really have it worked out..business background, technical info from a college course, practical experience with a pro. You definitely have your ducks in a row!
Firstly...I doubt that you would have any luck in trying to find employment as a ';Photographer's Asistant';. They aren't about to teach anyone their style of photography and tricks of the trade, just to have you open your own studio down the street from them. Perhaps if you found a big studio where assistants might be needed to help with lighting or props, etc....it could happen.
I suggest that you take a lot of classes at a good university or technical trade school. Don't wory about the textbooks...they are the cheapest part of the class. I recommend that Business Administration or Business Management should be your MAJOR and Photography be the minor.
I want to become a professional photographer. Yeah I know, you've all heard this a million times. I know a lot of the basics of photography through 6 years of professional modeling but I know it will take years of hard work to build my career. I've met a lot of great people in this business who not only specialize in high fashion/editorial work but weddings and regular portraiture as well. I have fallen in love with this line of work and I want to make sure I take the right steps to begin. I was planning on learning through a photographer I have worked with many times through modeling where I live now (most of the great photographers I've met never went to formal schools to learn photography), but my husband got a job offer in Kansas and sadly now we are moving.
So here's my dilemma... I am planning to go back to school this fall at Kansas State University, majoring in Business. I know they have a photography program but I'd rather learn through experience. I have a Nikon D80 and I'm working on getting lights, meters, reflectors, etc. at this time. I also work with Adobe Lr 2.0 at the moment and prefer it to Photoshop CS3 because of it's simplified layouts and tools.
So, my first question is obviously should I try to find professional photographers in my area to work under as a ';photographers assistant'; or is it wise to learn on my own through trial and error while I'm in school?
I want a business degree because I know there are things in this business that a photography assistant will not be taught such as how to run the business end of photography successfully and I want that knowledge. I don't want to know how to answer phones or carry equipment I want real training and help which I would have had here through the friends I've made but I'm afraid some photographers aren't that open to just spilling techniques to total strangers. So any advice?
My second question is I've been referred to a photography text book list and course outline that they use at a great (and highly overpriced), art and design school so you can learn on your own exactly what they teach but these books are your standard overpriced college textbooks and I'm looking for some cheap places online to get photography textbooks for cheaper (I don't care if they're slightly used). Anyone have any sites for me to check out? I've also heard of websites for college students that allow you to read college textbooks online but I haven't found one that has anything on photography. I guess that major isn't as important as ';Liberal Arts'; or something (sarcasm). If anyone knows of a site where they do this I'd love to know... and I'm not talking about illegal torrents, more like the sites that boycott the fact that the people who make textbooks charge you 10 times what they should for them because they know they can.
Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you in advance!Photography Assistant? Is it really worth it or is their a better way?
if you really like it why not becuase it sounds like you really want it no one can stop you from living your dream i mean photography that's nicePhotography Assistant? Is it really worth it or is their a better way?
Check Barnes and Nobles for used text books.
Sounds like you really have it worked out..business background, technical info from a college course, practical experience with a pro. You definitely have your ducks in a row!
Firstly...I doubt that you would have any luck in trying to find employment as a ';Photographer's Asistant';. They aren't about to teach anyone their style of photography and tricks of the trade, just to have you open your own studio down the street from them. Perhaps if you found a big studio where assistants might be needed to help with lighting or props, etc....it could happen.
I suggest that you take a lot of classes at a good university or technical trade school. Don't wory about the textbooks...they are the cheapest part of the class. I recommend that Business Administration or Business Management should be your MAJOR and Photography be the minor.
Would it be a bad idea to homeschool your kids until Junior High?
I feel so torn. I went to public school until high school, then I did homeschooling. My husband was always homeschooled. There are some huge benefits to homeschooling...not bragging I swear but my husband and I are very intelligent and love to learn...by age 16 both of us knew how to balance a check book, how to file taxes, and all kinds of stuff like that that most teens aren't aware of because we had plenty of time for our parents to teach us. We focused more on academia than socializing so we scored fantastically on all of our tests and by the age of 18 we both were starting college and had married and I had a job as a CNA in MRDD and he was an Eagle Scout and working for a church (he wants to be a pastor) with plenty of job opportunities otherwise. However, neither of us had a lot of friends and we missed prom and special things like that, and both of us VERY badly feel we missed out. We wish we'd had the chance to make friends and such. On the other hand, we are both very respectful to our parents never tried drugs, drank, or got into any trouble. Whereas most kids in public school that I know are different. Heres the thing though I did go to elementary and junior high public schools and I loved having lots of friends and I looked forward to going to school, but on the other hand I never focused on school work it was all about friends and I almost got held back and I actually became a big bully when I fell in with the popular crowd and I was not a nice person.
So I was thinking anything wrong with homeschooling them throughout elementary school then sending them to public school? That way I can teach them when they're very young and impressionable then allow them to go experience school dances, first boyfriends/girlfriends, and all that stuff. I need to hear the pros and cons.
Also we are a very christian family, but also very alternative or lax in our beliefs (we believe in Christ and God and living a moral life, but we are supportive of gay marriage, we are anti-war, and we don't believe in the whole wives obey your husbands thing. We're very equal rights. And these things are VERY important to us and we fear public school might interfere with this (no, I don't mean allow our kids to think for themselves, we support that, we just dont want them succumbing to peer pressure).
ADvice?Would it be a bad idea to homeschool your kids until Junior High?
i would strongly disagree homeschooling them till junior high. now a days kids are maturing at a younger age than they did before. if your child isnt exposed to public school education they are missing out on the interactions with the other students and once you hit junior high you are pretty much on your own. In elementary peer pressure isnt a big issue and kids get along better. if u dont home school them up to junior high they will be able to make friends sooner that could last them throughout highschool.Would it be a bad idea to homeschool your kids until Junior High?
I have been in public elementary education for 17 years and this question is always able to stir up a passionate debate. I have always believed, as a parent, it is our responsibility to teach our children to make good decisions. As a junior high teacher, I have seen the benefits and disadvantages for all students. However, if we do our job as parents and teach our children to make good choices, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages, I believe. Children need the socialization a school provides. Home schooled children who come to school for Art, PE and special events only DO NOT SOCIALIZE, they are most likely ostracized. As a mentor teacher, I have spent many days in kindergarten, and it is easy to find those students who went to preschool and those students who stayed home with mom. As a parent, we always think that is the best, but those ';stay at home'; students lack socialization skills, following procedures, schedules etc. It is the same for homeschoolers, no matter the age they are, but if you decide to homeschool, I think it is wise to introduce them to public education before high school.
I also have a friend in CA who homeschools all 4 of her children and she belongs to some homeschooling organization where about once a week they all take an educational fieldtrip together. (About 12 children in all) and I thought this may be a nice compromise. You might consider homeschooling for a few years, then let your children have input on the decision to continue.
By the way - when I taught 6th grade math, my students knew how to balance a checkbook - I taught them :)
Good Luck - and whatever you choose, your children are lucky that you care enough to worry about it.
I think you should let them go to school.
Let them go so they can learn to make decisions for themselves. If you raise them with good morals and teach them to make good choices then you won't have to worry about them 'succumbing to peer pressure.' Well there may be things that they will but that's all part of a learning process.
I feel that home schooling is not the best thing to do for a child, because it keeps them from meeting other children. However, if you felt you wanted to home school them, it's not a bad idea to let them meet people in Junior High. That way, they will get to meet kids before it gets too difficult and you'll be able to supervise their education.
Public Education is very good, and you can always help and teach them more than what is taught at school.
So I was thinking anything wrong with homeschooling them throughout elementary school then sending them to public school? That way I can teach them when they're very young and impressionable then allow them to go experience school dances, first boyfriends/girlfriends, and all that stuff. I need to hear the pros and cons.
Also we are a very christian family, but also very alternative or lax in our beliefs (we believe in Christ and God and living a moral life, but we are supportive of gay marriage, we are anti-war, and we don't believe in the whole wives obey your husbands thing. We're very equal rights. And these things are VERY important to us and we fear public school might interfere with this (no, I don't mean allow our kids to think for themselves, we support that, we just dont want them succumbing to peer pressure).
ADvice?Would it be a bad idea to homeschool your kids until Junior High?
i would strongly disagree homeschooling them till junior high. now a days kids are maturing at a younger age than they did before. if your child isnt exposed to public school education they are missing out on the interactions with the other students and once you hit junior high you are pretty much on your own. In elementary peer pressure isnt a big issue and kids get along better. if u dont home school them up to junior high they will be able to make friends sooner that could last them throughout highschool.Would it be a bad idea to homeschool your kids until Junior High?
I have been in public elementary education for 17 years and this question is always able to stir up a passionate debate. I have always believed, as a parent, it is our responsibility to teach our children to make good decisions. As a junior high teacher, I have seen the benefits and disadvantages for all students. However, if we do our job as parents and teach our children to make good choices, the benefits far outweigh the disadvantages, I believe. Children need the socialization a school provides. Home schooled children who come to school for Art, PE and special events only DO NOT SOCIALIZE, they are most likely ostracized. As a mentor teacher, I have spent many days in kindergarten, and it is easy to find those students who went to preschool and those students who stayed home with mom. As a parent, we always think that is the best, but those ';stay at home'; students lack socialization skills, following procedures, schedules etc. It is the same for homeschoolers, no matter the age they are, but if you decide to homeschool, I think it is wise to introduce them to public education before high school.
I also have a friend in CA who homeschools all 4 of her children and she belongs to some homeschooling organization where about once a week they all take an educational fieldtrip together. (About 12 children in all) and I thought this may be a nice compromise. You might consider homeschooling for a few years, then let your children have input on the decision to continue.
By the way - when I taught 6th grade math, my students knew how to balance a checkbook - I taught them :)
Good Luck - and whatever you choose, your children are lucky that you care enough to worry about it.
I think you should let them go to school.
Let them go so they can learn to make decisions for themselves. If you raise them with good morals and teach them to make good choices then you won't have to worry about them 'succumbing to peer pressure.' Well there may be things that they will but that's all part of a learning process.
I feel that home schooling is not the best thing to do for a child, because it keeps them from meeting other children. However, if you felt you wanted to home school them, it's not a bad idea to let them meet people in Junior High. That way, they will get to meet kids before it gets too difficult and you'll be able to supervise their education.
Public Education is very good, and you can always help and teach them more than what is taught at school.
A shallow girl's lengthy monologue..To be or not to be?
Where to start? I got married to my husband 3 years ago but did not have money for a luxurious wedding reception or a wedding dress of my dreams. We were so in love back then that we did not mind even if it would take us a long time to make a home together, back then it was the last thing on our minds. Now I feel like the routine has made all the romance go away, plus he is working long hours and we hardly see and communicate with each other, which often leads to explosive arguments where I cannot help but bring back the past and how I would like for us one day to have a 'real' wedding reception. He tells me that at this point he can hardly give me what I wish for and his mind is on working to pay the bills and I do understand that. And before you all start criticizing me, I work too and try to help financially but really life is hard and we just make it through each month. I do not earn much money, plus I work 9 months out of a year, that's how my job is. My dream is to have a house to call our own one day as my dream is for me to finally steal the spotlight on my wedding day, glowing in my wedding dress. In our arguments, he has told me so many times that if I am not pleased with what he has to offer me, I should have gotten married to a rich man, who could have provided me with everything I needed but that is not true, I do not want that and what I ask for is not too much either. Please do not rush into making conclusions of me being selfish and/or ignorant or anything of that sort because it is easy to say so when you are not in my shoes. I am spending every day alone, he is working literally all day (7 am 11 pm) and that takes a toll on our relationship. It might seem to some that I want my cake and eat it too but all I want is my husband to be with me, come on, all these hours??!!Whenever he has no patience with me after all these hours of getting tired - and rightly so- I feel like I am 'robbed' of something in our married life. My sister's future fiance is a doctor and it has been so serious that they have even been trying for a baby and they are going to get married soon also and today she was telling me that she knows her man 'will do anything to make sure that she and the baby will not miss out on anything.' She is a doctor and not the woman who ever expected to be financially dependent on her man yet I see the complete change in her and her 'giving in' the reassurance of a man who will be there for her financially as well as emotionally. And I started thinking, ';will I ever feel ready enough to have a baby with my man, will he ever give me this financial re-assurance?'; My sister's fiance has a good 'back up' of a house near a ski resort, not to mention that he earns and will earn more than my husband does. I caught myself kind of comparing the two men; and wished that we could at least have a house to call our own, instead of living in a cramped apartment. Yes, I know I sound so ungrateful. But I find my needs clash with the notions of ';why moan, just thank God you're with your husband';, ';money does not bring happiness,'; ';the grass is always greener';, ';all you need is air in your lungs and a place to rest your head, some people do not even have that';. I cannot pretend I do not wish we had more financial security. I crave financial security. However, I fear that whatever else should keeps us united and loving each other is doomed to fall apart because of the long, working hours and the lack of communication, the fatigue, the impatience, the routine. Sometimes I am having doubts as to whether we will be able to have a home of our own but right now it is even a struggle to put money aside for our future and it has been like 3 years! I am having second thoughts about my man and I really do not want to compare him to others but I wonder when and IF we will be able to stand on feet. Lately I have tried to look at our future together and I see it uncertain. And then I ask myself, ';why, don't I deserve better?'; He has told me at some other point ';you deserve the best and I really do not want you to be unhappy, I am trying my best but I cannot give you much more, you really so unlucky to have met me'; but I swear I do not want much, just a promise that we will one day do things right, can't he just give me a promise that we will make another wedding reception, which he wants too, it is not just my wish? Can he not just say that it will happen one day? To feed my hopes? To keep me going? Is it so hard to say that it will happen even if it will not ever happen or it will happen a long time from now? Why do I have to have my feet on the ground all the time and be reminded of our difficult situation? Can't I dream? Can't we dream?
I have caught myself getting jealous over other girls getting married (I have not been jealous of my sister, thank God) and although I know it is so silly, I am jealous of them wearing the gorgeous dress and going back to their fully-furnished house, everything gone according to plan. I hate feeling this way, I hate being jealous because I know it keeps me away from more important things in life and believe me, I do have other things that I think of, like why some people die so unfairly and why some others behave like they will live forever. I know that when I am dead all my complaints and preoccupations will be just like a breath in frozen air, mingling eventually with it and no one will ever know if there really was a breath to begin with.
Well, I do not know if I make any sense. But that is how I feel. Complicated to some but I think it will strike a familiar chord with people who have been in similar situations. Am I right to want what I deserve? Should I stop comparing my husband to others? Why do I feel like we will never be financially ready for a baby? I know I shouldn't be expecting everything to come from him but still..as I said, I cannot make that much of a contribution. Do you think a psychotherapist would help sort my feelings out? Please share your thoughts and let me know if you're going through the same. Thanks a bunch.
Please do not leave any nasty comments; why waste your time doing so?A shallow girl's lengthy monologue..To be or not to be?
WOW!
She doesn't want much, just a $40K wedding, a $2K wedding dress, and a new $250K house...
Yeah
Gentlemen, this is proof as to why you should NEVER get marriedA shallow girl's lengthy monologue..To be or not to be?
yea that sounds like life alright- see a therapist- think of all the homeless people in africa %26amp; around the world who have no idea what kind of bull **** your going through- somewhere alse in the world there is a person going through a lot worser things than you- you might be a little selfish and your not wrong for thinking that your worth all of that- im sure you are- but just be patient and shut the trap.
I have no idea how you got all of that into one question without running out of space.
#1 Get over the wedding. Your marriage is more important than the wedding could ever be.
#2 Your husband is doing good by working hard for your family. Consider supplementing his income if you'd like him home more. Sounds like a full time job PLUS a part time job would have him away less than his current job. In any case, you are young and paying your dues for later.
#3 Do not compare yourself to anyone elses success or failure. Your sister, cousin, friend, whatever--their jobs don't matter. Be happy for her success and do the best with what you and your husband have.
#4 Make the most with the time you have together. Do not dwell on what you don't have. If you get 4 hours on the weekend, then use it the best way you can. Go see him for lunch at work if you can.
#5 Therapy sounds like a decent idea.prom hair guy myspace
I have caught myself getting jealous over other girls getting married (I have not been jealous of my sister, thank God) and although I know it is so silly, I am jealous of them wearing the gorgeous dress and going back to their fully-furnished house, everything gone according to plan. I hate feeling this way, I hate being jealous because I know it keeps me away from more important things in life and believe me, I do have other things that I think of, like why some people die so unfairly and why some others behave like they will live forever. I know that when I am dead all my complaints and preoccupations will be just like a breath in frozen air, mingling eventually with it and no one will ever know if there really was a breath to begin with.
Well, I do not know if I make any sense. But that is how I feel. Complicated to some but I think it will strike a familiar chord with people who have been in similar situations. Am I right to want what I deserve? Should I stop comparing my husband to others? Why do I feel like we will never be financially ready for a baby? I know I shouldn't be expecting everything to come from him but still..as I said, I cannot make that much of a contribution. Do you think a psychotherapist would help sort my feelings out? Please share your thoughts and let me know if you're going through the same. Thanks a bunch.
Please do not leave any nasty comments; why waste your time doing so?A shallow girl's lengthy monologue..To be or not to be?
WOW!
She doesn't want much, just a $40K wedding, a $2K wedding dress, and a new $250K house...
Yeah
Gentlemen, this is proof as to why you should NEVER get marriedA shallow girl's lengthy monologue..To be or not to be?
yea that sounds like life alright- see a therapist- think of all the homeless people in africa %26amp; around the world who have no idea what kind of bull **** your going through- somewhere alse in the world there is a person going through a lot worser things than you- you might be a little selfish and your not wrong for thinking that your worth all of that- im sure you are- but just be patient and shut the trap.
I have no idea how you got all of that into one question without running out of space.
#1 Get over the wedding. Your marriage is more important than the wedding could ever be.
#2 Your husband is doing good by working hard for your family. Consider supplementing his income if you'd like him home more. Sounds like a full time job PLUS a part time job would have him away less than his current job. In any case, you are young and paying your dues for later.
#3 Do not compare yourself to anyone elses success or failure. Your sister, cousin, friend, whatever--their jobs don't matter. Be happy for her success and do the best with what you and your husband have.
#4 Make the most with the time you have together. Do not dwell on what you don't have. If you get 4 hours on the weekend, then use it the best way you can. Go see him for lunch at work if you can.
#5 Therapy sounds like a decent idea.
Stay married or move on?
I have been married to my husband for 6 yrs. I have been in love with him for the 14 yrs. I've known him. But I have always felt I loved him way more than he loves me because he has never shown me any real love. Then about 10 months ago, i noticed that my heart had really stopped caring for him. I still loved him but I didn't seem to care that he didn't show love back to me. That's when I met another man who showed a lot of interest in me. We started out as friends and it quickly grew. This other man showed me the deep love that I had always wanted from my husband. And I fell for him too. Soon my heart became bitter towards my husband because I realized how badly I had been ignored for so many years and how beautiful a relationship can be when both partners love each other equally. Now I am torn. I realize I took vows for life, but I have this gift of real love that I don't know what I'm supposed to do with. Do I turn my back on this gift from above? Or do I remain in the loveless marriage because that's what is expected of me? I have told my husband about the other man and he apologized for ingnoring me so badly. He says he was aware of his neglect but always thought he could ';work on it later';. Well later never came. He admitted that he was selfish in soaking up all my love and not giving any back. But now he calls me selfish for trying to be happy. I think the decision to leave him would be easy except that we have a 4 year old son together. I know it's better for a child to grow up in a house with love and I know it's also good for both parents to be in the house. Both men are good, decent people and both only want to be happy, same as me. I am seriously torn with making a decision that is right for all. I am in pain, so please be kind with your answers.Stay married or move on?
Personally I don't believe in divorces unless there is no way possible of working things out. I feel that there is always a way to work things out to get to the point to where you want your relationship to be. It would've made things alot better if you had tried to work through the problems before you all had gotten married, but since it came afterward you have to da as you vowed to do and make things work out. You both have to put forth the effort to make things better, its all teamwork. There's no time frame to when things will be how they should be, but they gradually will get better. And I think that right now the other guy seems perfect only because you're vunarable your husband can be the exact way of the other guy if he works to it. Just remember that's your HUSBAND, dont trow away 6yrs of marriage and 14yrs of a relationship because someone blows through and it seems so right, becuase in the end its not. I went through something almost exactly like this except i was only with the man for 3yrs.I left him for the other man and he ended up cheating on me, something my husband would've never done to me. Now i'm single my ex- does'nt want anything to do with me, he won't even take me back, and I miss him SO much! But remember if it's meant it'll be, whether you leave or not, it'll be, same with the other guy. If you 2 are suppose to be together it'll find a way to be.Stay married or move on?
Yu're Welcome!
The new guy is always nicer etc...cause that's how it starts. After time he will be similar and then there will be another newer guy. I've been there done that to many times. Its better to fix the mess you in and fix home.
happiness is home made.
do what makes you happy. if you think being without him will make you feel better then do it. but thats a whole lot of time to throw away,
good luck ma
boooringg
take the new guy, husband had his chance
the begging of a relationship is always better.
and everyone has there tough times you just need to put time and effort if it means anything to you.
if you really want the marriage to work then don't give up.fix it
try counseling and maybe a little get away to free your mind if that dosent work then follow your heart,
you only live once enjoy it, don't be in a unloved marriage cause you feel bad
IF you have to find love out side your marriage or from some other guy its time to move on. if your not willing to work on it and hes to busy to do anything for you to accept his love then bye! its best for you and for your son
I am sorry about your dilemma, it is definitely a tough call to make. You are torn between not wanting to hurt your child by breaking up the family and wanting to pursue the love that has been denied you for so long. What I would do first is do everything possible to try to patch up the marriage, as the other man you are seeing may not necessarily be the diamond in the rough that you think he is. Of course, I don't know him, so I can't say for sure, but there is always the possibility that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Talk to your husband and get yourselves into counseling to see if this marriage can be saved. He has postponed being a decent husband to you long enough.
Your marriage is a joke. You now resent him because the new guy has shown a different side that your husband hasn't, which is unfair on your part. Both are different, so their ways will obviously not be the same. The only reason why the newer guy seems better is because of the fresher feel.
Anyway, move on.
I honestly don't believe in being unfaithful. Ofcourse, I am not going to judge you because who am I to judge. I will tell you though that this is not the right thing to do, you do have a child who is 4 years old. No one can tell you to divorce or not. You have to think ';do you want your 4 year old to see how you are and how you live'; ';do you want something better for you and for your 4 year old';? I mean, I think that if you think about it and talk to your husband... I think that you could come up w/something! I wish you the best for you and for your 4 year old. Good luck!
You have personal and emotional problems that you are not copping to , or that you don't know about. You talk crap about your husband but don't even acknowledge the role you played in your unhappy marriage.
I feel bad for you because you sound like you need a lot of work on YOURSELF. Your new relationship is easier to jump into now but as long as you don't take any responsibility for your actions your new relationship will fail also. HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS ARE A LOT OF WORK AND YOU SOUND LAZY.
If you no longer love your husband, your choice is fairly simple. You do deserve to be happy and you've already found that. However, if you do still have love for your husband, you owe it to your marriage to try counseling so that he can learn to love you in the way you deserve to be loved and you can learn how to communicate your needs in a way that he understands so that you don't feel neglected. You shouldn't have started anything with a new man until you ended your marriage but it's too late for that lecture now. Fourteen years is a long time to throw away especially now that he wants to try and work harder to please you. And this new guy hasn't been around long enough for you to really know if you love him or you just love that he does what your husband didn't. Sure he looks good now but what about all his flaws? Everyone has flaws and it's only a matter of time before you stop being in the in love/lust phase and start seeing the truth.
2 wrongs don't make a 1 right.
FIRST wrong was your husband not showing you the attention u need.
SECOND wrong is you with another man
FINALLY get it right by dumping the other guy and working on your marriage.
BTW it's always LOVELY %26amp; HOT SEX with the other woman/man.
UNTIL YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM AND SMELL THEIR FUNKY BREATH IN THE MORNING!!
Personally I don't believe in divorces unless there is no way possible of working things out. I feel that there is always a way to work things out to get to the point to where you want your relationship to be. It would've made things alot better if you had tried to work through the problems before you all had gotten married, but since it came afterward you have to da as you vowed to do and make things work out. You both have to put forth the effort to make things better, its all teamwork. There's no time frame to when things will be how they should be, but they gradually will get better. And I think that right now the other guy seems perfect only because you're vunarable your husband can be the exact way of the other guy if he works to it. Just remember that's your HUSBAND, dont trow away 6yrs of marriage and 14yrs of a relationship because someone blows through and it seems so right, becuase in the end its not. I went through something almost exactly like this except i was only with the man for 3yrs.I left him for the other man and he ended up cheating on me, something my husband would've never done to me. Now i'm single my ex- does'nt want anything to do with me, he won't even take me back, and I miss him SO much! But remember if it's meant it'll be, whether you leave or not, it'll be, same with the other guy. If you 2 are suppose to be together it'll find a way to be.Stay married or move on?
Yu're Welcome!
Report Abuse
The new guy is always nicer etc...cause that's how it starts. After time he will be similar and then there will be another newer guy. I've been there done that to many times. Its better to fix the mess you in and fix home.
happiness is home made.
do what makes you happy. if you think being without him will make you feel better then do it. but thats a whole lot of time to throw away,
good luck ma
boooringg
take the new guy, husband had his chance
the begging of a relationship is always better.
and everyone has there tough times you just need to put time and effort if it means anything to you.
if you really want the marriage to work then don't give up.fix it
try counseling and maybe a little get away to free your mind if that dosent work then follow your heart,
you only live once enjoy it, don't be in a unloved marriage cause you feel bad
IF you have to find love out side your marriage or from some other guy its time to move on. if your not willing to work on it and hes to busy to do anything for you to accept his love then bye! its best for you and for your son
I am sorry about your dilemma, it is definitely a tough call to make. You are torn between not wanting to hurt your child by breaking up the family and wanting to pursue the love that has been denied you for so long. What I would do first is do everything possible to try to patch up the marriage, as the other man you are seeing may not necessarily be the diamond in the rough that you think he is. Of course, I don't know him, so I can't say for sure, but there is always the possibility that the grass isn't always greener on the other side. Talk to your husband and get yourselves into counseling to see if this marriage can be saved. He has postponed being a decent husband to you long enough.
Your marriage is a joke. You now resent him because the new guy has shown a different side that your husband hasn't, which is unfair on your part. Both are different, so their ways will obviously not be the same. The only reason why the newer guy seems better is because of the fresher feel.
Anyway, move on.
I honestly don't believe in being unfaithful. Ofcourse, I am not going to judge you because who am I to judge. I will tell you though that this is not the right thing to do, you do have a child who is 4 years old. No one can tell you to divorce or not. You have to think ';do you want your 4 year old to see how you are and how you live'; ';do you want something better for you and for your 4 year old';? I mean, I think that if you think about it and talk to your husband... I think that you could come up w/something! I wish you the best for you and for your 4 year old. Good luck!
You have personal and emotional problems that you are not copping to , or that you don't know about. You talk crap about your husband but don't even acknowledge the role you played in your unhappy marriage.
I feel bad for you because you sound like you need a lot of work on YOURSELF. Your new relationship is easier to jump into now but as long as you don't take any responsibility for your actions your new relationship will fail also. HAPPY RELATIONSHIPS ARE A LOT OF WORK AND YOU SOUND LAZY.
If you no longer love your husband, your choice is fairly simple. You do deserve to be happy and you've already found that. However, if you do still have love for your husband, you owe it to your marriage to try counseling so that he can learn to love you in the way you deserve to be loved and you can learn how to communicate your needs in a way that he understands so that you don't feel neglected. You shouldn't have started anything with a new man until you ended your marriage but it's too late for that lecture now. Fourteen years is a long time to throw away especially now that he wants to try and work harder to please you. And this new guy hasn't been around long enough for you to really know if you love him or you just love that he does what your husband didn't. Sure he looks good now but what about all his flaws? Everyone has flaws and it's only a matter of time before you stop being in the in love/lust phase and start seeing the truth.
2 wrongs don't make a 1 right.
FIRST wrong was your husband not showing you the attention u need.
SECOND wrong is you with another man
FINALLY get it right by dumping the other guy and working on your marriage.
BTW it's always LOVELY %26amp; HOT SEX with the other woman/man.
UNTIL YOU HAVE TO LIVE WITH THEM AND SMELL THEIR FUNKY BREATH IN THE MORNING!!
So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?
My daughter has been BEST friend's with little girl since kindergarten. They are now both 5th graders.
They have been inseparable. Sleep overs. excursions. you name it! But early this year things started to fall apart when I began speaking up to her mother.
Her mom has a reputation for being domineering and very insulting. And talks about EVRYONE. nasty rude comments.
I REALLY TRIED to be her friend. But always noticed the friendship was one sided.
Yet the girls remained close.
I am half black/half Italian, and early this year the mother was concerned about new neighbors. And said
to me concerning an black friend who hurt her ';so now she's a ******!'; I was stunned.
And when I told her her comment was inappropriate she went off one me!
';Please don't tell me you are offended. You people are always over reacting';
AND She stopped speaking to me for 2 months.
still the girls remained close. And i had to communicate with the chil'ds dad to make play dates.
I caved and broke the ice. Then one day she saw my daughter and I driving, pulled beside us and when she found out we were going out to dinner she said ';gee thanks for invintg US!';
in the meantime. we always invited she and her child. dinner. movies. etc. but she NEVER invited us.
So I stopped.
last straw for both of was one parent night when she sat beside me. and insulted EVERY teacher who stood up to speak. ';what a dork';. ';god she is butt ugly!'; and not for nothin' but she is about 5' 7'; and weighs 250 pounds she told me. and some people heard her insults. and put her in her place. and eventually when i asked her to stop, she rolled her eyes and left and MADE her husband leave, and sat somewhere else.
Then the girls relationship fell apart.
at the end of summer her daughter returned form vacation and never called my daughter. we never knew she was back. yet she called 2 other girls.
and what was so hurtful was my daughter said 2 weeks ago her best friend brought in a birthday cake, went out of her way to stand in front of my kid and said ';umm yummy!'; then my kid's teacher saw my kid's reaction and asked them to leave?
How could this happen?
the short is she never invited me kid to her party last week. my daughter was soooooo upset and sad.
what would YOU do?
would you approach the mother?
or just let it go?
another thing I should mention is many parents have mentioned the mom's bad behavior. throwing the ';N'; word around.
so no love is lost there. I don't need that kind of negative person in my life.
but what about the girls? no more play dates. and she had her kid turn on mine. how cruel.
again.
what would YOU do?
address it? or let it go.
sorry for the story.
and thanks in advance.So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?
Having been in this situation twice in the last three years, my best advice is to cut and run. Consider yourself and your daughter lucky to be free of such a toxic relationship. If the friend's mother feels comfortable saying such ugly things to you, she has most likely said things like in front of your daughter and most assuredly in front of her daughter. It is only a matter of time before the daughter begins mimicking her mother.
You can choose to address the situation, but that you just drags you right back into the situation all over again. Unless you wish to be friends with this woman, forgive all the things she does that make you uncomfortable and set your daughter up for a relationship that has the potential to be equally unpleasant, walk away while you have a chance.
Children tend to go through changes as they head into puberty and, unfortunately, some of these changes may affect even life long relationships. It is better to teach your daughter how to deal with issues such as these than to expose her to any more hurt than is necessary at the hands of this child and her mother.So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?
theres really nothing you can do about it. Its her decision and if your that concern try talking it out with her
Do you think you'll change her? Let her be her and although your daughter is hurt now she'll learn an important lesson in the long run.
You stay out of it.
Like it or not, this mother has the right to exclude kids from the party.
Stuff happens.
All the best.
Wow, I am in fifth grade and I am 10, and I am shocked.
I am sorry for your daughter and I would be her friend if I knew her. I know plenty of children, that are my age, that have horrible mothers and get abused. If I went to her school, I would be nice to your daughter after that occured.
If my mom would be doing that, I would tell her that she is so rude and I want to invite my best friend and my mom loves me bad, so I would avoide her until she gives up.
If I were you, I would approach the mother and try to find things in common to do together, for the sake of the girls. If the girls mother is a problem, be the nice one and when its your daughters birthday, invite the girl.
It sucks for your daughter, but she's got to go through this sometime.
I'm kind of thinking your going to be grateful for this breakup to happen now. Once your daughter's ex-friend gets into middle school, she is going to be a MONSTER.
I think you've dodged a bullet here. This woman is not only a negative person to be in your life, but your daughter's as well. Her child already shows that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree - are these people you really want influencing your daughter?
I think we've all gone through this, especially as girls. All she can do is be nice to her friends, but she can't choose how they will be to her.
What a miserable person she must be. I think she has low self esteem and gets a kick out of putting others down to make her feel better. To be honest, I wouldn't want that type of person around my family and especially my children. Kids pick up on things and look up to adults so I'm sure her daughter unfortunately will pick up these bad habits. I say, just leave her be and all her negativity. You wouldn't want your daughter around someone who doesn't have respect for others. She has obviously rubbed off on her own daughter as you mentioned her daughter making your child feel bad by being sarcastic about the cake. Look at the bright side and be glad you found out just how bad of a person this woman can be and that your daughter will always have the opportunity to meet new friends.
They have been inseparable. Sleep overs. excursions. you name it! But early this year things started to fall apart when I began speaking up to her mother.
Her mom has a reputation for being domineering and very insulting. And talks about EVRYONE. nasty rude comments.
I REALLY TRIED to be her friend. But always noticed the friendship was one sided.
Yet the girls remained close.
I am half black/half Italian, and early this year the mother was concerned about new neighbors. And said
to me concerning an black friend who hurt her ';so now she's a ******!'; I was stunned.
And when I told her her comment was inappropriate she went off one me!
';Please don't tell me you are offended. You people are always over reacting';
AND She stopped speaking to me for 2 months.
still the girls remained close. And i had to communicate with the chil'ds dad to make play dates.
I caved and broke the ice. Then one day she saw my daughter and I driving, pulled beside us and when she found out we were going out to dinner she said ';gee thanks for invintg US!';
in the meantime. we always invited she and her child. dinner. movies. etc. but she NEVER invited us.
So I stopped.
last straw for both of was one parent night when she sat beside me. and insulted EVERY teacher who stood up to speak. ';what a dork';. ';god she is butt ugly!'; and not for nothin' but she is about 5' 7'; and weighs 250 pounds she told me. and some people heard her insults. and put her in her place. and eventually when i asked her to stop, she rolled her eyes and left and MADE her husband leave, and sat somewhere else.
Then the girls relationship fell apart.
at the end of summer her daughter returned form vacation and never called my daughter. we never knew she was back. yet she called 2 other girls.
and what was so hurtful was my daughter said 2 weeks ago her best friend brought in a birthday cake, went out of her way to stand in front of my kid and said ';umm yummy!'; then my kid's teacher saw my kid's reaction and asked them to leave?
How could this happen?
the short is she never invited me kid to her party last week. my daughter was soooooo upset and sad.
what would YOU do?
would you approach the mother?
or just let it go?
another thing I should mention is many parents have mentioned the mom's bad behavior. throwing the ';N'; word around.
so no love is lost there. I don't need that kind of negative person in my life.
but what about the girls? no more play dates. and she had her kid turn on mine. how cruel.
again.
what would YOU do?
address it? or let it go.
sorry for the story.
and thanks in advance.So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?
Having been in this situation twice in the last three years, my best advice is to cut and run. Consider yourself and your daughter lucky to be free of such a toxic relationship. If the friend's mother feels comfortable saying such ugly things to you, she has most likely said things like in front of your daughter and most assuredly in front of her daughter. It is only a matter of time before the daughter begins mimicking her mother.
You can choose to address the situation, but that you just drags you right back into the situation all over again. Unless you wish to be friends with this woman, forgive all the things she does that make you uncomfortable and set your daughter up for a relationship that has the potential to be equally unpleasant, walk away while you have a chance.
Children tend to go through changes as they head into puberty and, unfortunately, some of these changes may affect even life long relationships. It is better to teach your daughter how to deal with issues such as these than to expose her to any more hurt than is necessary at the hands of this child and her mother.So whatta ya do when yuor kid's best friend's Mom doesn't invite YOUR kid to her child's birthday party?
theres really nothing you can do about it. Its her decision and if your that concern try talking it out with her
Do you think you'll change her? Let her be her and although your daughter is hurt now she'll learn an important lesson in the long run.
You stay out of it.
Like it or not, this mother has the right to exclude kids from the party.
Stuff happens.
All the best.
Wow, I am in fifth grade and I am 10, and I am shocked.
I am sorry for your daughter and I would be her friend if I knew her. I know plenty of children, that are my age, that have horrible mothers and get abused. If I went to her school, I would be nice to your daughter after that occured.
If my mom would be doing that, I would tell her that she is so rude and I want to invite my best friend and my mom loves me bad, so I would avoide her until she gives up.
If I were you, I would approach the mother and try to find things in common to do together, for the sake of the girls. If the girls mother is a problem, be the nice one and when its your daughters birthday, invite the girl.
It sucks for your daughter, but she's got to go through this sometime.
I'm kind of thinking your going to be grateful for this breakup to happen now. Once your daughter's ex-friend gets into middle school, she is going to be a MONSTER.
I think you've dodged a bullet here. This woman is not only a negative person to be in your life, but your daughter's as well. Her child already shows that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree - are these people you really want influencing your daughter?
I think we've all gone through this, especially as girls. All she can do is be nice to her friends, but she can't choose how they will be to her.
What a miserable person she must be. I think she has low self esteem and gets a kick out of putting others down to make her feel better. To be honest, I wouldn't want that type of person around my family and especially my children. Kids pick up on things and look up to adults so I'm sure her daughter unfortunately will pick up these bad habits. I say, just leave her be and all her negativity. You wouldn't want your daughter around someone who doesn't have respect for others. She has obviously rubbed off on her own daughter as you mentioned her daughter making your child feel bad by being sarcastic about the cake. Look at the bright side and be glad you found out just how bad of a person this woman can be and that your daughter will always have the opportunity to meet new friends.
My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?
We have been together for 14 years, and married for 9. We tried for 2.5 years for our baby, even prepared to do IVF before I fell pregnant naturally. He seemed to be happy. He was always a bit critical of me and hard to have fun with, but overall I was happy and I thought he was happy. I can honestly say I was a good wife and a good friend to him. I followed him around the world for work. Supported him at various sporting events. Kept up relationships with our family and friends. Kept the house. Cooked.
He went to a conference overseas in Dec 09 for 4 days. Turns out he met some woman in a nightclub. Spent 4 days with her. All the while he was with her he was emailing me every day saying how much he loved me and missed me and couldn' t wait to see me and show me the baby clothes he had purchased. He came home Dec 18, continued the affair with her online and over the phone, and for all of Jan 2010 then start of Feb tells me he has met someone else, fallen ';in love'; with her (after 4 days and 5 weeks of communication) and was leaving for good.
I was totally shocked. Never saw it coming. It was only after he left I started getting the credit card statements for all the money he spent on her. And it's not like him to spend like that, he is a real saver. Jewellery, flowers, clothes..it was sickening. She knew I was pregnant and he was married and according to his best friend, still pursued him. She didn't care.
He has told me he was ';unhappy'; with me and she has made him realise how unhappy he was. That he has moved on and I should too. That he will never come back to me.
He has ';known'; her for 3 months. She lives a 14 hour plane flight away. Apparently she was making plans to come live here with him after 4 weeks of meeting him. He has spent a total of 4 days, 2 weeks skiing plus countless hours on the phone and internet with her.
His daughter and I have been discarded for a stranger. Myself, his friends and family feel he is totally infatuated. I love him, have begged him to reconsider, to think of his daughter. He doesn't want to try counselling, do a trial separation, nothing. He has decided to cast us aside for a woman he has known for 3 months. I feel he is totally blinded to what he is losing. He seems so cold, and heartless towards me now and I don't know how you can just switch off so easily from someone you have been with for 14 years and for your first child and after so much difficulty conceiving her.
It just doesn't make sense. I am in a terrible place emotionally. It is all a complete shock. I am depressed, can't function. I have had to move in with my parents. I am now facing life as a single mother and going through hell, yet he seems so happy and things seem to be going so right for him? And he is the one who had the affair and did this terrible thing. How can that be fair?
What should I do? Move on? Keep trying to get him back? How do I deal with the fact a new woman is taking my place in his life?
Has anyone heard of this happening? Do men ever come back to their wives in these situations? Does this type of relationship work out? I hear of men crawling back eventually, but he seems so certain in his decision. And now she is making plans to move out here to be with him. Mind you, he hasn't met his daughter yet and I wonder if that will make him reconsider. He is so hard and so certain. I wonder if he might change his mind when he meets his daughter. He says he wants to play a big role in her life and is willing to pay child support.
It was so fast. Straight from me to her. It is certainly a rebound. ANd it's long distance too.
I try and stay strong and think that God has done this for a reason and there must be something better out there for me.....? Should I forget him? How?
Thanks for your help and thoughts.....My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?
Stop considering taking him back. You and him together will be toxic. I am so very sorry you have had to go through all this after being with him for so long. Please stay with the family and start over in life. Hit his cheating, lying asss up for child support and if your not working alimony too.%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; Make him pay and suffer for this stupid behavior!!!
Make it to where he dosen't have any money for his life with her.
Good bless you.My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?
you need to move on.. everything happens for a reason God is gonna send you someone you deserve whos gonna remove this hurt from you and make you feel like new . as for him ever returning whos to say what he'll do.
your not alone. My story is that my husband left me 6 months pregnant for his ex wife. We were separated for 5 months. We did get back together when our daughter was 4 months old. I want to say first that i do love my husband very much and we have been together for 7 months now and our little girl will be 1 this month but he did come by every day when we were separated to see her and check on me so we both still had feelings for each other it was just a bad situation. With that said i still get mad and hurt over thinking of what he did to us. So you have to really want to work things out if it will ever work and i know that it is harder to let go when you have a kid with him but you should let go and move on for yourself and your daughter are it will drive you crazy and if it is meant to be it will be.
You guys are so WONDERFUL, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your caring words and you don't even know me. I will look back on these answers to give me strength every day. May God bless you all.
Let yourself heal. Your husband is a cheater, he lied to you, built his relationship with some girl he meet in a night club. But, guess what. What kind of woman goes to a night club? Sleeps with a man right away? And is willing to move after 3 months! Come on he doesn't know her and he is spending money on her. Now take your dear husband to court and go get yourself some alimony, child support, and make him return some of the investment that you put in for your fair share of 14 years. You deserve it and so does your daughter. Now, let your dear husband go, because this woman may have a STD because she slept with your dear husband way to EASY. Besides, when his money runs out she will too. And one day he will wake up to the fact that he was a jerk to his daughter and his wife, and hopefully by then you know your worth and you have meet a descent man that you deserve. Sorrey, that your husband made such a stupid choice, but learn from it and remember the warning signs. Good luck.
That is downright shocking. How can anyone leave their pregnant wife after 14 years??
Make this guy pay, dearly. Rake him through the coals, then rake him again just to make sure he gets it. Continually take him back to court every time you think he got a raise.
This is not a man, it is a class ';A'; loser in my books.
OMG! He's like a stupid child. I think you need to get a good lawyer and take him for everything that he's worth. That'll make him think twice before sh*tting all over his responsibilities. He is the one who is losing out; that woman is not likely to be there for him in the long run, and she is obviously of poor moral character if she will pursue the husband of a pregnant woman. Don't try to get him back. The trust has been broken, and you'll just be miserable every time he's out of your sight, wondering what he's doing. There is no quick fix for this kind of heartache, and you will be a co-parent with this person forever, if he's even man enough to want to be in the baby's life. I'm sorry this happened. Same thing happened to my mother in law, when she was pregnant with my husband, so I really feel for you, bc I know the sh*tstorm of ramifications his selfish actions will cause. Good luck, Sweetie
They say there is a fixed amount of sorrow in everyones life...urs has come like this...ur husbands willl come in a different way(even worse)...The point is just bear in mind the fact that whatever ur feeling now will pass....i have a ';post it'; in my desk constantly reminding me tht this will pass....urs will also pass....remember the time when u were sad about not having kids....but now u have a kid....like that slowly this problem will also vanish and u willl find someone who really loves you....And a good tip will be to read through the yahoo answers....it will make ur misery feel a lot better when related to urs....Trust me...Thats what i did and i felt better a lot better...although if u read my story u wud want to kill me first....But i will pray a lot for u....Ur lucky atleast u have a kid....prepare urself for the arrival of this angel....and everything else will pass....Godbless u....lots of luv and prayers....
Oh you poor thing. This is a bit weird as it's quite similar to what happened to me. I was 8 months pregnant when I found out my fiancee (partner of 7 years) had started seeing someone else from work. I was so terrified and wanted to hang on to him. He eventually left when our baby was 6 months old but he was pretty unpleasant for the whole time. Now he is not seeing the other woman but I couldn't take him back. My only regret is I didn't kick him out the minute I found out.
Being a single mum is hard but it's not impossible and you'll find the strength to do it. I am happier now than I was when he was around and little by little you'll get your life back on track. He probably will want to come back and will see what he has left. But when he changes his mind you may feel that you've moved on. When I think about my ex I think we would be happy for a few weeks only.
I think for now you just have to concentrate on yourself and your daughter. Build yourself up again, see your friends, make new ones, just do whatever it takes to get on with your own life. It's so hard but just try to concentrate on anything. At first you may not think of what's happened for just a few minutes then it will get longer. If you are able to enjoy anything, music, tv, a drink with a friend then you're on track. Whatever the future holds you'll be in a strong position.
Take care of youself and trust that it will get easier.
I'm so sorry to hear your news.. I can completely relate as something similar has happened to me as well... and its not at all something I ever thought I would be dealing with. I thought we were happy too.. I just hope and pray that someday things will make some sense. I have a 2 year old girl and also I am 5 months pregnant and left on my own. I am without a doubt in the worst state of mind I've ever been in my whole life and its really hard to make it through each day but somehow I keep going. I will pray for you and I hope you will find happiness someday..
This man has been messing around with another woman and has been carrying on a relationship with her and you want him back? Why? And your rebound theory makes no sense. A rebound is a relationship with another person right after the breakup of a previous one. You will still married when he started seeing this girl. So that's no a rebound relationship, it's an adulterous one. Seriously, cut your losses. There are so many men out there who would love you and your baby and who would never do you wrong. I can understand why you're upset. 14 years is a long time and it's worse because you're pregnant. All your husband has shown you is that he is a chicken sh*t coward and a lying, cheating scumbag. Is this what you want your child to learn? That when she grows up she should marry a man who will leave her for another woman and then try to get him back? Sweety, you can do so much better. Give yourself time to heal. God and time will heal all things. Concentrate on taking care of your baby. I know it's hard to be a single mom (I was by myself for awhile with 2 kids and I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd...so I know it's hard but it is possible) but you can do it. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. And in time, God will send you a man who will love you and treat you like a queen. Your scumbag hubby may seem happy now but I bet in the end he will be miserable and try to come back. Don't take him back. Just remember that karma will bite him in the a**. Good luck
Hi, Malia.
Let me just say that I'm very sorry for your situation and you have a great deal of sympathy and compassion from me.
My advice would be, now that he has broken your trust, don't allow him to earn it back easily. After all, he's lied to you before about how committed he was.
If your husband still wants to have relationship with his child, don't get in the way of that. DO fight for child support.
Secondly, please don't blame yourself for any of his behavior. 100% NOT YOUR FAULT.
If it's any consolation to you, I think it's likely your estranged husband's new relationship won't last. Relationships like that are based on lust and deceit and fantasy. I mean, it's one based on profound selfishness. Flings that start out from cheating generally have a low chance of long-term success, educated guess %26lt; 10%. Eventually, you realize your partner has their own needs and wishes, they're not going to keep trying to seduce you forever and eventually they'll start making more and more emotional demands.
Generally, cheaters cheat because they feel like something is ';missing'; from the relationship.
Of course, what's really missing is the cheater's own self-esteem! Cheaters are generally secretly very insecure. Their behavior has nothing to do with the quality of their current relationship; it's all about their own flawed persona.
So suddenly, they run into someone new who temporarily makes them feel better about themselves.......... In a way, it's understandable that a cheater would be willing to drop everything and chase something that gave them an excuse to feel good about themselves-I'm not saying it's right. The ego-boost doesn't last though. Eventually they realize that they've just alienated everyone in their former life, this is not a good feeling self-esteem wise. (cheaters Do have a conscience, but their insecurity is usually stronger.) So, in order to prop their ego back up, they look for yet another new person to flatter them. This is why they say, ';once a cheater, always a cheater.';
The reason why your estranged husband doesn't show interest in you, is you're a reminder to him that maybe he's not such a good person after all. When person is off chasing their self-esteem, the last thing they want is a reality check.
Does any of this make sense?
Good luck, and best wishes.
~WOMBAT
He is on a power trip. When he realises the immaturity of his decision he will come crawling back. Too bad by then you wont take him back. I suggest you don't anyway. What kind of man leaves his wife for another woman when she is pregnant? So selfish.
I can relate to your story and I feel for you. My husband of 7 years moved out of our bedroom when our only daughter turned 6 months and then moved out after her first birthday. His explanation was that he hadn't been in love with me for a long time and he ignored those feelings because he wanted a child so badly. We have always had a rocky relationship, but I definitely thought there was improvement when we decided to have a child.
I too, was devastated, but I am now coming to realize that my future will be brighter without him. Like your husband, he was always very critical of sooo many things. It tore me down so much I couldn't make decisions on what to make for dinner or what duvet to buy!!!!
I started seeing a therapist which I would highly recommend for you. This is his issue, and NOT yours and you should not think about taking him back because you deserve better. The fact that you are 6 months pregnant and he is leaving without trying to save the marriage proves how much of a narcissist he is. He is the one that feels inadequate and that will never change. He envies you in some way versus appreciating you. I truly believe that a ';good'; man will accept you for all that you are, the good, the bad and the ugly.
You will have a lot of bad days ahead of you, but there will be good days ahead too. Right now, try to concentrate on preparing for the birth of your child. I was not a woman that really yearned for a child, but I will never forget the first time I heard my daughter cry. It was just the movies. The whole world stops. You can't hear anything else or look at anything else but your child. It is truly an amazing experience and don't let HIM take that away from you.
Ultimately, he will regret it, but you may never know it. He is a coward that cannot deal with his own short comings and inadequacy issues. You will be a stronger woman on the other side and you'll be an excellent example to your daughter when the time is right for her to understand what really happened between the two of you.
Believe in yourself and that you deserve better.
Love and cherish that little girl every day.
You can get through this......
to be honest i only read the first line...but just so u know ive got ure back...ure husband is an asshole...and you and ure child are better off without him
I am sorry but have him pay child support. Make sure he has a lot to do in his daughter's life.There is no reason to fight for love. Love is given freely to anyone willing to accept it. You fighting for it is just a waste of your time. I didn't want to sound harsh but it is true. GOD has something much better for the both of you. Just pray every night and thank GOD you have such a loving family who love you and your daughter. Some parents forget they have kids after they been gone so long.
Remember you will always have one man who will love you forever. GOD.
Hi Malia.
Honestly, my heart goes all out for you. It is as if I can feel the severe pain deep down inside your heart. And maybe because of this, you would have a feeling of an unbelievable hate to men (maybe!) or feeling of an insecurity when it comes to men.
But know that, you deserve someone much much better if it were to happen that you'll fall in love again. Yes, its best if you try to forgot your husband totally (I mean forget of trying to beg him coming back to you), but instead, like others have said, focus on your child, focus on how you will raise her and give her all the love that she needs.
I do believe that God test every human being that which is in our capabilities. God The Most Compassionate and Most Gracious will never test us in this temporary world that which is beyond ourselves. Yeah, everything in this world will eventually vanish, die or subside but our love to Our Creator will always stay there. Such love will always grant a bliss peace inside our heart. Having said that, I do believe that you are one strong woman and that you can absolutely live without him and it is also possible that you will forget him and lead a better, happier life with your child.
Pray to God The Most Heareth so that He will always protect you and your child, give you an abundance of blessings in life, forgiveness and strengths for you to become the best mother to your child.
Stay strong, dear as God The Most Merciful is always there. :)
He went to a conference overseas in Dec 09 for 4 days. Turns out he met some woman in a nightclub. Spent 4 days with her. All the while he was with her he was emailing me every day saying how much he loved me and missed me and couldn' t wait to see me and show me the baby clothes he had purchased. He came home Dec 18, continued the affair with her online and over the phone, and for all of Jan 2010 then start of Feb tells me he has met someone else, fallen ';in love'; with her (after 4 days and 5 weeks of communication) and was leaving for good.
I was totally shocked. Never saw it coming. It was only after he left I started getting the credit card statements for all the money he spent on her. And it's not like him to spend like that, he is a real saver. Jewellery, flowers, clothes..it was sickening. She knew I was pregnant and he was married and according to his best friend, still pursued him. She didn't care.
He has told me he was ';unhappy'; with me and she has made him realise how unhappy he was. That he has moved on and I should too. That he will never come back to me.
He has ';known'; her for 3 months. She lives a 14 hour plane flight away. Apparently she was making plans to come live here with him after 4 weeks of meeting him. He has spent a total of 4 days, 2 weeks skiing plus countless hours on the phone and internet with her.
His daughter and I have been discarded for a stranger. Myself, his friends and family feel he is totally infatuated. I love him, have begged him to reconsider, to think of his daughter. He doesn't want to try counselling, do a trial separation, nothing. He has decided to cast us aside for a woman he has known for 3 months. I feel he is totally blinded to what he is losing. He seems so cold, and heartless towards me now and I don't know how you can just switch off so easily from someone you have been with for 14 years and for your first child and after so much difficulty conceiving her.
It just doesn't make sense. I am in a terrible place emotionally. It is all a complete shock. I am depressed, can't function. I have had to move in with my parents. I am now facing life as a single mother and going through hell, yet he seems so happy and things seem to be going so right for him? And he is the one who had the affair and did this terrible thing. How can that be fair?
What should I do? Move on? Keep trying to get him back? How do I deal with the fact a new woman is taking my place in his life?
Has anyone heard of this happening? Do men ever come back to their wives in these situations? Does this type of relationship work out? I hear of men crawling back eventually, but he seems so certain in his decision. And now she is making plans to move out here to be with him. Mind you, he hasn't met his daughter yet and I wonder if that will make him reconsider. He is so hard and so certain. I wonder if he might change his mind when he meets his daughter. He says he wants to play a big role in her life and is willing to pay child support.
It was so fast. Straight from me to her. It is certainly a rebound. ANd it's long distance too.
I try and stay strong and think that God has done this for a reason and there must be something better out there for me.....? Should I forget him? How?
Thanks for your help and thoughts.....My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?
Stop considering taking him back. You and him together will be toxic. I am so very sorry you have had to go through all this after being with him for so long. Please stay with the family and start over in life. Hit his cheating, lying asss up for child support and if your not working alimony too.%26gt;%26gt;%26gt; Make him pay and suffer for this stupid behavior!!!
Make it to where he dosen't have any money for his life with her.
Good bless you.My husband left me 6 months pregnant for another woman. It's our first child.?
you need to move on.. everything happens for a reason God is gonna send you someone you deserve whos gonna remove this hurt from you and make you feel like new . as for him ever returning whos to say what he'll do.
your not alone. My story is that my husband left me 6 months pregnant for his ex wife. We were separated for 5 months. We did get back together when our daughter was 4 months old. I want to say first that i do love my husband very much and we have been together for 7 months now and our little girl will be 1 this month but he did come by every day when we were separated to see her and check on me so we both still had feelings for each other it was just a bad situation. With that said i still get mad and hurt over thinking of what he did to us. So you have to really want to work things out if it will ever work and i know that it is harder to let go when you have a kid with him but you should let go and move on for yourself and your daughter are it will drive you crazy and if it is meant to be it will be.
You guys are so WONDERFUL, thank you from the bottom of my heart for your caring words and you don't even know me. I will look back on these answers to give me strength every day. May God bless you all.
Let yourself heal. Your husband is a cheater, he lied to you, built his relationship with some girl he meet in a night club. But, guess what. What kind of woman goes to a night club? Sleeps with a man right away? And is willing to move after 3 months! Come on he doesn't know her and he is spending money on her. Now take your dear husband to court and go get yourself some alimony, child support, and make him return some of the investment that you put in for your fair share of 14 years. You deserve it and so does your daughter. Now, let your dear husband go, because this woman may have a STD because she slept with your dear husband way to EASY. Besides, when his money runs out she will too. And one day he will wake up to the fact that he was a jerk to his daughter and his wife, and hopefully by then you know your worth and you have meet a descent man that you deserve. Sorrey, that your husband made such a stupid choice, but learn from it and remember the warning signs. Good luck.
That is downright shocking. How can anyone leave their pregnant wife after 14 years??
Make this guy pay, dearly. Rake him through the coals, then rake him again just to make sure he gets it. Continually take him back to court every time you think he got a raise.
This is not a man, it is a class ';A'; loser in my books.
OMG! He's like a stupid child. I think you need to get a good lawyer and take him for everything that he's worth. That'll make him think twice before sh*tting all over his responsibilities. He is the one who is losing out; that woman is not likely to be there for him in the long run, and she is obviously of poor moral character if she will pursue the husband of a pregnant woman. Don't try to get him back. The trust has been broken, and you'll just be miserable every time he's out of your sight, wondering what he's doing. There is no quick fix for this kind of heartache, and you will be a co-parent with this person forever, if he's even man enough to want to be in the baby's life. I'm sorry this happened. Same thing happened to my mother in law, when she was pregnant with my husband, so I really feel for you, bc I know the sh*tstorm of ramifications his selfish actions will cause. Good luck, Sweetie
They say there is a fixed amount of sorrow in everyones life...urs has come like this...ur husbands willl come in a different way(even worse)...The point is just bear in mind the fact that whatever ur feeling now will pass....i have a ';post it'; in my desk constantly reminding me tht this will pass....urs will also pass....remember the time when u were sad about not having kids....but now u have a kid....like that slowly this problem will also vanish and u willl find someone who really loves you....And a good tip will be to read through the yahoo answers....it will make ur misery feel a lot better when related to urs....Trust me...Thats what i did and i felt better a lot better...although if u read my story u wud want to kill me first....But i will pray a lot for u....Ur lucky atleast u have a kid....prepare urself for the arrival of this angel....and everything else will pass....Godbless u....lots of luv and prayers....
Oh you poor thing. This is a bit weird as it's quite similar to what happened to me. I was 8 months pregnant when I found out my fiancee (partner of 7 years) had started seeing someone else from work. I was so terrified and wanted to hang on to him. He eventually left when our baby was 6 months old but he was pretty unpleasant for the whole time. Now he is not seeing the other woman but I couldn't take him back. My only regret is I didn't kick him out the minute I found out.
Being a single mum is hard but it's not impossible and you'll find the strength to do it. I am happier now than I was when he was around and little by little you'll get your life back on track. He probably will want to come back and will see what he has left. But when he changes his mind you may feel that you've moved on. When I think about my ex I think we would be happy for a few weeks only.
I think for now you just have to concentrate on yourself and your daughter. Build yourself up again, see your friends, make new ones, just do whatever it takes to get on with your own life. It's so hard but just try to concentrate on anything. At first you may not think of what's happened for just a few minutes then it will get longer. If you are able to enjoy anything, music, tv, a drink with a friend then you're on track. Whatever the future holds you'll be in a strong position.
Take care of youself and trust that it will get easier.
I'm so sorry to hear your news.. I can completely relate as something similar has happened to me as well... and its not at all something I ever thought I would be dealing with. I thought we were happy too.. I just hope and pray that someday things will make some sense. I have a 2 year old girl and also I am 5 months pregnant and left on my own. I am without a doubt in the worst state of mind I've ever been in my whole life and its really hard to make it through each day but somehow I keep going. I will pray for you and I hope you will find happiness someday..
This man has been messing around with another woman and has been carrying on a relationship with her and you want him back? Why? And your rebound theory makes no sense. A rebound is a relationship with another person right after the breakup of a previous one. You will still married when he started seeing this girl. So that's no a rebound relationship, it's an adulterous one. Seriously, cut your losses. There are so many men out there who would love you and your baby and who would never do you wrong. I can understand why you're upset. 14 years is a long time and it's worse because you're pregnant. All your husband has shown you is that he is a chicken sh*t coward and a lying, cheating scumbag. Is this what you want your child to learn? That when she grows up she should marry a man who will leave her for another woman and then try to get him back? Sweety, you can do so much better. Give yourself time to heal. God and time will heal all things. Concentrate on taking care of your baby. I know it's hard to be a single mom (I was by myself for awhile with 2 kids and I was 9 months pregnant with my 3rd...so I know it's hard but it is possible) but you can do it. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family. And in time, God will send you a man who will love you and treat you like a queen. Your scumbag hubby may seem happy now but I bet in the end he will be miserable and try to come back. Don't take him back. Just remember that karma will bite him in the a**. Good luck
Hi, Malia.
Let me just say that I'm very sorry for your situation and you have a great deal of sympathy and compassion from me.
My advice would be, now that he has broken your trust, don't allow him to earn it back easily. After all, he's lied to you before about how committed he was.
If your husband still wants to have relationship with his child, don't get in the way of that. DO fight for child support.
Secondly, please don't blame yourself for any of his behavior. 100% NOT YOUR FAULT.
If it's any consolation to you, I think it's likely your estranged husband's new relationship won't last. Relationships like that are based on lust and deceit and fantasy. I mean, it's one based on profound selfishness. Flings that start out from cheating generally have a low chance of long-term success, educated guess %26lt; 10%. Eventually, you realize your partner has their own needs and wishes, they're not going to keep trying to seduce you forever and eventually they'll start making more and more emotional demands.
Generally, cheaters cheat because they feel like something is ';missing'; from the relationship.
Of course, what's really missing is the cheater's own self-esteem! Cheaters are generally secretly very insecure. Their behavior has nothing to do with the quality of their current relationship; it's all about their own flawed persona.
So suddenly, they run into someone new who temporarily makes them feel better about themselves.......... In a way, it's understandable that a cheater would be willing to drop everything and chase something that gave them an excuse to feel good about themselves-I'm not saying it's right. The ego-boost doesn't last though. Eventually they realize that they've just alienated everyone in their former life, this is not a good feeling self-esteem wise. (cheaters Do have a conscience, but their insecurity is usually stronger.) So, in order to prop their ego back up, they look for yet another new person to flatter them. This is why they say, ';once a cheater, always a cheater.';
The reason why your estranged husband doesn't show interest in you, is you're a reminder to him that maybe he's not such a good person after all. When person is off chasing their self-esteem, the last thing they want is a reality check.
Does any of this make sense?
Good luck, and best wishes.
~WOMBAT
He is on a power trip. When he realises the immaturity of his decision he will come crawling back. Too bad by then you wont take him back. I suggest you don't anyway. What kind of man leaves his wife for another woman when she is pregnant? So selfish.
I can relate to your story and I feel for you. My husband of 7 years moved out of our bedroom when our only daughter turned 6 months and then moved out after her first birthday. His explanation was that he hadn't been in love with me for a long time and he ignored those feelings because he wanted a child so badly. We have always had a rocky relationship, but I definitely thought there was improvement when we decided to have a child.
I too, was devastated, but I am now coming to realize that my future will be brighter without him. Like your husband, he was always very critical of sooo many things. It tore me down so much I couldn't make decisions on what to make for dinner or what duvet to buy!!!!
I started seeing a therapist which I would highly recommend for you. This is his issue, and NOT yours and you should not think about taking him back because you deserve better. The fact that you are 6 months pregnant and he is leaving without trying to save the marriage proves how much of a narcissist he is. He is the one that feels inadequate and that will never change. He envies you in some way versus appreciating you. I truly believe that a ';good'; man will accept you for all that you are, the good, the bad and the ugly.
You will have a lot of bad days ahead of you, but there will be good days ahead too. Right now, try to concentrate on preparing for the birth of your child. I was not a woman that really yearned for a child, but I will never forget the first time I heard my daughter cry. It was just the movies. The whole world stops. You can't hear anything else or look at anything else but your child. It is truly an amazing experience and don't let HIM take that away from you.
Ultimately, he will regret it, but you may never know it. He is a coward that cannot deal with his own short comings and inadequacy issues. You will be a stronger woman on the other side and you'll be an excellent example to your daughter when the time is right for her to understand what really happened between the two of you.
Believe in yourself and that you deserve better.
Love and cherish that little girl every day.
You can get through this......
to be honest i only read the first line...but just so u know ive got ure back...ure husband is an asshole...and you and ure child are better off without him
I am sorry but have him pay child support. Make sure he has a lot to do in his daughter's life.There is no reason to fight for love. Love is given freely to anyone willing to accept it. You fighting for it is just a waste of your time. I didn't want to sound harsh but it is true. GOD has something much better for the both of you. Just pray every night and thank GOD you have such a loving family who love you and your daughter. Some parents forget they have kids after they been gone so long.
Remember you will always have one man who will love you forever. GOD.
Hi Malia.
Honestly, my heart goes all out for you. It is as if I can feel the severe pain deep down inside your heart. And maybe because of this, you would have a feeling of an unbelievable hate to men (maybe!) or feeling of an insecurity when it comes to men.
But know that, you deserve someone much much better if it were to happen that you'll fall in love again. Yes, its best if you try to forgot your husband totally (I mean forget of trying to beg him coming back to you), but instead, like others have said, focus on your child, focus on how you will raise her and give her all the love that she needs.
I do believe that God test every human being that which is in our capabilities. God The Most Compassionate and Most Gracious will never test us in this temporary world that which is beyond ourselves. Yeah, everything in this world will eventually vanish, die or subside but our love to Our Creator will always stay there. Such love will always grant a bliss peace inside our heart. Having said that, I do believe that you are one strong woman and that you can absolutely live without him and it is also possible that you will forget him and lead a better, happier life with your child.
Pray to God The Most Heareth so that He will always protect you and your child, give you an abundance of blessings in life, forgiveness and strengths for you to become the best mother to your child.
Stay strong, dear as God The Most Merciful is always there. :)
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