I simply wonder if any other women out there have felt this way and how they have been able to repair their marriages. Any advice that anyone can give is appreciated.,Does anyone think that it is possible to fall back into love with your spouse?
YES YES YES it IS possible! I am living proof!! My husband and I drifted apart for all of the same reasons and even almost got a divorce. We have been married 15 years. We got into counseling and started to remember the little things again. We started to do those little things to show each other how much we appreciated each other. We MADE time for each other. We fell in love all over again - we are now more in love and more committed to each other and our marriage than when we first got married. It is amazing and I honestly NEVER thought it would happen. So believe me - it CAN happen! PLEASE don't give up. You CAN come back and you CAN be in love with him again. Don't give up!Does anyone think that it is possible to fall back into love with your spouse?
I am so happy! Keep that hope! Love is worth it! You may just remember every single reason you married and then some!! I wish you the very best of luck and I will be praying for you!!
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It is definately possible and chances are maybe you haven't fallen out of love with him. Maybe over the years you forgot why you were in love in the first place. Counseling is a good start! Start doing things together like getting a sitter and going out on dates or putting the kids to bed and having a candle light dinner. Re learn why you fell in love with him in the first place.
it's absolutely possible. the same thing happened with me and my husband. we have a 2 year old son. we took a weekend trip, just the two of us. turned the cell phones off and just enjoyed being with each other. thats all it took. we just needed a little time to reconnect. but dont give up. u can definately do it. good luck.
Sure it's possible. It's also possible to get back together and then realize why the two of you fell out of love in the first place.
it's possible. not guaranteed, but definitely possible.
Put your mind to it. Just like everything else in life.
Of course it is possible.
Just keep up the counseling. It should begin to show results soon.
Try counseling, but if your not in love with him, you cant force it.
i can relate to that to some point..
my husband is an outdoor type of guy and i mean sometimes he takes over the edge for me to handle.. some ';man'; problems but nothing major.. i was sooo alone and felt so abandoned that i actually felt better off alone and going places without him.. he put me last and it came to a point where i had to put myself first.. with 4 kids it was the toughest time for me.. unable to go anywhere or do anything so i was always home or work.. no playtime..
anywho it was to the point where with or without him i'm living.. i lost alot of love and respect for him because of this..
somehow things changed and he became somewhat more responsible but more importantly a husband to me.. he gave up time with outdoors for me and his kids and the dedication he showed made me take a second look.. he's like a kid again always wanting me to go with him and the affection i wanted came back.. slowly i started feeling those mushy feelings and now we're as good as can be.. so in this case my ignoring him made him realize what he coulda lost..
we dated when i was 14, married at 17 and now over a decade still strong.. have faith
i wish you well
You are reaching a different stage of love in your relationship.
At the stage you are at, Love takes work to GIVE. You need to LEAD your heart to loving him and put in the work to love him.
At the beginning of your relationship you were following your heart to love him, because he was a good guy, a good father, a good provider so your heart automatically fell in love.
But as time has passed, following your heart has become a thing of the past and now is the time to lead with your heart. You tell your heart to love him, you find what you love about him and work to show him love.... its weird, but if you show him love the more you will feel the love for him. Pay him compliments, treat him kind, find something nice to do for him each day that makes him feel good and smile... if you do these simple and small acts of kindness you will find your love for him again. I guarantee it, but you have to put in the work to lead your heart to him.
Just the same as you are doing with god, you are leading your heart and your life to god and to become religious. That is the same you should do with your marriage and your spouse... lead your heart to him! There is a good movie called ';Fireproof'; that you may enjoy watching... it has to do with God and putting the love back into a marriage.
Also... I recommend reading / following the book called ';the love dare'; ...
What you guys need is a good relaixing vacation together by yourselves even if its for a weekend. You need to sometimes look past peoples faults and look at the positives. everyone isnt perfect and im sure you dont meet all of his needs. No one is perfect. But yes if you want your marrage to work time apart for a while is wonderful followed by a weekend getaway together. Go to the place where you first met. Go to a romantic bed and breakfast. Try to remember them man you fell in love with. Everyone changes. Try to me more understanding and proactive and not reactive. I wish you the best of luck.
Of course it is possible. Some people even divorce, then remarry each other. It is very normal and common for the ';in love'; feeling to fade. Few can sustain the butterflies and excitement through all the ups and downs of life. For most, a different kind of love evolves....a deeper, more meaningful love that is rooted more in mutual respect and shared life experiences than hormones and physical attraction. It is good that you are seeing a counselor and trying to find meaning through religion...but it sounds like you and your husband need to shake things up. You need to go on an occasional real date...do some FUN things together. Be kids again. Spicing things up in the bedroom could help, too. You've been in a rut and gotten bored with life and marriage. You can leave, but your next marriage would probably be the same after 5 or 10 years. Stick with the counseling and talk to your husband about doing some of the things you did together back when you were falling in love. It would be a shame to give up when there isn't abuse or cheating.
Yes I have been through this. It's like my husband sees us together ten years from now but there were times when I couldn't see it. I loved him but there were times when I was like I love him but I am not in love with him. And through the 11 years that feeling came and went, especially before and during my cycle. LOL. My husband is military and is about to deploy for a second time in three years. And everytime he is away we grow apart alittle and have to bond again. And I can understand where you are coming from when you say coming closer to God. A few years ago my marriage was at its strongest but this was also when I got up and prayed and read and went to church. And now I do all those very little so I was thinking there is a connection. My flesh is weaker now. But what me and my husband have begun doing which is helping is we date regularly. We have also begun role playing. What that allowed is we act like we weren't married and we got to know each other all over again. He would come pick me up, call me and just get into the other personality. Because for most, our marriage was good but we don't just want a good marriage we wanted our marriage at its strongest and a great marriage.
I have absolutely been there, almost word for word. There were times when I didn't see any reason to have him around, even though he was not doing anything mean to me to make me think that. I just didn't feel like I was in love anymore. I also had 2 young children, but now years later, the spark is back and things are better. Relationships go through ups and downs, if you truly want to stay with him (and he with you) stick with the counseling and learn to appreciate all of his good traits.
im been marriage for 12 years. one time i also said to myself
im not happy. anymore. but when i imagine i have a child from her. is not easy to go. i want to save my marriage. until now i continue.
klar i have feeling with my husband but not the saME BEFORE.
many time i want to go but many times i said no. when you beginning
new one relation in the beginning is beautiful but after is hte same problem.just try to go out you only and yourhusband go out
dinner date. that the woman miss. husband and wife. sometime the forgot the time to each other.just try to be happy listining good music.
God is your answer. Nowhere in the Bible. (That I have found yet) does it leave the impresion that love is a feeling. I believe it is a choice. Unfortuantly sometimes the feelings that we know as love leave when people hurt us. This effects us the most with the people we are closest to (spouses).
Put God first and read the Bible. Lifes instruction manual. I truly believe that you will not only save ypur marriage. You all will have that kind of marriage people are envious of
1 Corinthians 13
Romans 12
This is two places in the Bible it talks about love
I will be praying for your marriage. Please pray for mine. I wish my wife was on the same page you were.
Bear in mind, first of all, you don't fall out of love by chance. People who have loved each other enough to marry do not suddenly or gradually lose interest unless there is some very real reason.
In some cases, a couple may lose interest because it really never existed in any substantial way. Many cases are not so simple. In some instances the love was once genuine and deep.
The couple have been married for some years, and there are children to complicate the situation. What then? In such cases the couple should ask themselves such questions as the following:
Is the change in our feelings temporary or permanent? Many couples find that at times, they are not only uninteresting to each other, but positively repulsive.
If such feelings last longer than usual, or if they are complicated by some difficulty which makes one or both feel annoyed and depressed, a person may think that love has gone when actually it may be as strong as ever.
If, after some time, there seems to be no change for the better, or matters seem to become worse, it is time for the second question. What is the basic cause for our change in feeling, and what should be done about it?
The answer to this question admittedly is not easy. To find the real answer may require the services of a competent psychiatrist for some time. Yet many people can come to recognize some of the possibilities.
The person may have fall out of love because of some personality difficulty within himself. Internal tensions and inner conflicts may have left an individual who desires only to be by himself, incapable of loving anyone until he has learned to be at peace within himself.
Moral breakdown, or the threat of it, may be the trouble that cause people to fall out of love. Norman was treasurer of his company. For a time he was strongly tempted to run off with the funds.
His wife was a woman of high ideals. She stood as a barrier between him and what he wanted to do. As his temptation became stronger, so grew his need to push her aside. He began by being excessively critical.
The increase of pressure within himself resulted in an increased resentment of her, until his former love crescendoed into almost blind hatred. Like some diseases, his desire finally reached a crisis when he either had to yield, or to eliminate the temptation from his life. He decided to remain honest. With this decision his love for his wife returned, stronger than ever.
Shameful desires and tender feelings of love do not get along well within the same person. Was the marriage really a mistake? Some will want to stick it out, for the sake of appearances, or the children, or in hopes that the situation may change for the better.
One of the tragedies of our times is the number of marriages which have been dissolved before they have been given a real chance. If the marriage was real in the first place, the couple will have done considerable building through the years.
The construction thus begun should not be scrapped without very good reason, including the probability that another attempt may prove far more successful. It may be well to take the same attitude toward a sick marriage which we would take toward a sick child; it should be cured if possible.
It may cost hundreds of dollars and months of the very best expert attention to cure a physical ailment. The cure for a sick marriage may prove quite as difficult and costly. But remember, that if it does die, a part of you dies with it.
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