Well, my husband told me that office life wasn't for him and that he needed some adventure and that he wanted to join the Army as an officer. I have basically been bipolar about this decision ever since he told me because it affects my child as well as my husband and I.
At first, I told him NO period and that he needed to be home with his wife and child so we then discussed what to do and decided that he would look for jobs outside of our state so that he could move and have an adventure that way.
Well a few weeks later he hadn't looked for ANY jobs and we started running our of money. I hadn't found a full time job yet and I had been looking constantly. He brought up the Army again and we discussed it and I told him that I'd back him up on it since it pulled us out of our hole but that I didn't like it.
Then I found out that we won't be paid for 6-8 weeks AND that he only gets enlisted pay until he finished officers school. This will be 6 months or so. I did the bills and I would still be short $1000.00 each month!!!! So I am frantically looking for a job still and can't find one. The economy is terrible.
I told my husband that I didn't want him to leave us without a way to pay the bills for two months and asked him to wait until I found a steady job and could support us again. He said he just wouldn't join the Army, so I replied ';that's great! You can just look for normal jobs and not leave us'; and now he is telling me that I control his life and that he is miserable. He said he will resent me for this forever but I'd feel the same way if he left me without a job and a child to go play GI Joe. He wasn't doing this for the right reasons. It was like his escape from reality.
Now he is telling me that he wants a separation and I feel that maybe it's a good idea since he wanted to run away from his family so much.
I am worried that I am looking at this wrong though. He says that he was just trying to do the ';right thing to help'; but how is not looking for ANY jobs, joining the military when you're 28 and have a child and leaving your family before they are stable ';doing the right'; thing? Or does he really think that??
I'd love some insight. I am torn apart. I adore him but I feel he is trying to run away from his life and if that's the case then I should just let him go his own way for both of our sakes....I think my husband may have fallen out of love with me?
It sounds like your husband is wanting a quick and easy out to the serious (grown-up) problems you two are having. Give him one last time to sit down and talk it out. Tell him that you're worried about him, worried about the family, worried about the bills, and you feel like he's trying to run away. If he still wants to be immature about it, then give him the boot. You've already got one baby to take care of, you DON'T need another.I think my husband may have fallen out of love with me?
Im sorry to hear. I dealt with this and my parents. It almost seems as if he mentioned the separation because he wants you to say yes to the military. There is something else going on if he is taking it so offensively that you don't want him doing it. Its for obvious reasons as well. You're smart for saying no, and stay strong.
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