Very hurt am the other woman?

am a married woman who had an affair with a married man. I know it was wrong, but i really fell for this man. I met this man five years ago and we had an affair for around three months. I fell hard for this man. He was seperated from his wife, then went back to her. THree years later we met up again and started an affair again, again he seperated from his wife. This time though he told me how much he loved me, he acted like he couldnt get enough of me. He told me it was completly over with his wife. The lovemaking was incredible. I have never been with a man who can make love like him. I was so into him. I felt bad about cheating on my husband but i couldnt let go of this other man. Anyway, all this time he was working at going back to his wife. Eventaully he went back to his wife and he dumped me like a hot potato. He wrote to me later and told me how he regretted every moment with me, and how he had never stopped loving his wife. He said he couldnt believe how much he hurted his wife and that he is still now figthing so hard to win back her love and trust. I have a friend who actually knows his wife and I am disgusted to hear how much he treats his wife like a queen. How he is doing everything she says to win her love back. My husband found out too because his wife called and told him. Thank god men dont like to hear too many details. I am trying to work on my marriage now, but it is hard because i dont desire and love my husband like i did this other man. This other man said he loved me and wanted me always. We talked for hours!! How can he now say it meant nothing to him? How can he now act like I was just a whore available to him while he was without his wife? How could he have said and talked to me about everything and it not be true? I am so angry! I know I am the Other woman and people will say I deserve what I got, but I really, really loved this man. I hear that his wife is very angry with him and still has not forgiven him, yet he keeps begging and doing everything she wants. I thought he went back to her becasue of their kids, but when I hear about how much he tells everyone how sorry he is for what he did and how much he loves her, it makes me crazy. I loved this man, and I am heartbroken.


I want you to ask your callers, why do married men tell their mistresses how much they love them when its not true!! Why did he seem to share his heart with me and tell me we were soulmates when now all he wants is his wife. I am so angry!! I know I was wrong too...But i fell in love, thats why I did what I did, but why did he have to lie to me? Why?Very hurt am the other woman?
Ummmmmm how does it feel to be in the ';wifes shoes';? How does it feel to be in your ';husbands shoes';..? YOU DID IT TO YOUR OWN HUSBAND AND U DONT UNDERSTAND? i doubt during all this time that u were cheating on your husband, that u didnt portray the semi happy wife, living a lie, telling him u loved him, kissing him goodbye, just for a angry wife to call him one day and say hey guess what Your whole life as u know is a ';LIE'; , your marriage is a ';LIE'; the happiness u thought u had, the life u thought u had, was nothing but crap..


U got from him.. exactly what he did to her, and what u did to your x husband.. and let me tell u , the pain u feel.. is NOTHING compared to the pain his wife and you husband feel.. NOTHING! its just a small taste of it..


HE USED U .. he said everything he thought u wanted to hear to get u into the sack with him.. he lied to u.. just like u lied to his wife and ur husband, he used u, got what he wanted from u, and left you....


Karma.. what goes around comes around.. u should be kissing the ground ur husband walks on, for staying with someone like u.. because u dont deserve it.Very hurt am the other woman?
what goes around coming back around! you got what youdeserved *****!
when you are with a guy who is lyiing to his wife you would be wise to assume he is lyiing to you, too. he was using you because you were so eager to let him. that was your first mistake.





you were easy and available and he had no respect or regard for you and that is why it was so effortless for him to throw you a couple of lies as to how much he loved being with you, and why it was so easy to dump you.





his wife is still held on a pedestal because she !!! did not lie and cheat, you, are just gutter trash because to him you are a cheating lying slut. you are made to be played. sorry, but it is that very deceitfullness and tawdryness that guarantees his contempt for you at some point, oh, he wont tell you that, and the fact that you cant figure that out on your own just adds to his contempt of you.





every single woman who thinks some married guy loves her should read your question.





dont be heartbroken, be smart.
WTF did you expect!
';How can he now act like I was just a whore available to him while he was without his wife?';.... No offense, but you were just a whore available to him while he was without his wife . He told you what you wanted to hear to get what he wanted. He used you for what he needed and moved on. It's a risk that you take when you decide to put yourself in that position and fall for someone who was never yours to begin with. Get over it, he is someone else's husband and he obviously regrets making that mistake with you and wants to fix things with her... You were just the other woman...that's all. Besides he must be a real asshole to do that to his family in the first place...
I guess to a certain extent, you may possibly have the right to be mad. Not mad a his wife. You should be mad at yourself for taking marriage vows that you chose to not take seriously. Now, you need to let your husband go so he can be with someone honest and trustworthy, because this isn't you. You didn't do this once. You did it supposedly twice.


I am getting to the point where I hate people who are unfaithful. You honestly don't even know what love is. And neither does this other man. Sounds like he is good at using women and abusing relationships. Hopefully his wife doesn't forgive him for not being able to stay true to her and keep his *ic* in his pants. She deserves a better man than him. He is wasted flesh. And what goes around comes around. So you might want to watch yourself. You get divorced and meet someone in the future, most likely it will happen to you and you will be on the sh*tty end of the deal. I only feel bad for your husband and his wife. You nor this man deserve to ever be happy together or apart. It is shameful what you both have done. Neither one of you have respect for a true and loving marriage. If you want to mess around, DON'T BE MARRIED
not to be insensitive, but the more important question is - why would you want to have someone who is willing to not live up to his commitment (his marriage)? He has already shown a HUMONGOUS lack of integrity and respect for women/relationships... admittedly, you are hurt, but c'mon... he was unfaithful to his commitment and his wife, why should you think he would change for you? People don't change - for anybody
He did it to get you into bed and it worked. The kind of man that would have an affair on his wife is a sleazebag and you got screwed in more ways than one. But you knew he was married, you were also married, I don't care if you loved him- he wasn't yours to love in the first place. I have no sympathy for you.





Your poor husband took you back and you're still fawning over this guy. You don't deserve your husband.
i could understand all your sorrows, hurt, anger and frustrations. Trust me!





I am in the exact position as you . But I am worse off.





The guy who once proposed to me in the midst of his marriage, n asking me to bear him kids with him turned out to be a sex addict with serious emotional problems.





After our brief two months relationships, he ended our relationship by saying he cared only abt his beautiful son and wife.





He labelled me as sad confused woman who allowed myself to be screwed by him and a lot of many other nasty , degrading messages that put me down. It had never stopped and until today , he is still sending it.





I came to realise frm my own experience that men n women r very different.





Men r weak emotionally. When woman fell in love for a cause, we will give up everything to pursue what we want.


Woman values love with lots of emotions.





The man in my case is a hunter who seeks out for sex pleasure n the thrill of excitement while acting romantic and nice. I admitted I naively fell for it bcos of the void my marriage left in me.





But at the end of the day, he gotten what he needed for that moment and when reality hit him again, he chose security and comfort and married men r one of the worst group, they want lovers to toy with but maintain a marriage in the goodwill for reputation or face sake. A lot of men dun feel loved in their marriage, that's why they r strayers but still at the end of the day, the hunters( men ) still want to go back to where they came from. That's the hunters' mindset.





I felt a lot of hurt as u felt too. I will encourage you to move on cos n become stronger.





I had learnt in life now that no one ( not even yr dream guy ) can give you the kind of happiness you want in life unless you can find it within ourself. It must radiate from within us.





So hope you can find the happiness within yrself and let yourself shine n become better each day.





Love, Cindy
If he really luvd her so...He wouldn't be messing with you....I think he was so wrong to have told you all the things he did. If he just wanted some he should of just said so.......I think sooner or later he will try to look for you again...Trust me he doesn't luv her if he did he would of not came back not once but twice..........I do think you should be mean to him when he tries coming back.....As for you and your husband just try to make things work i know it's hard....go out to dinner, movies and all the fun stuff couples do to get the other person off of your mind
You sound like a teenager, falling for your first boyfriend and sex partner. You think it's love when it's a combination of emotions and sexual fulfillment.





You say you are in love, I say WRONG.... He sexed you better than anyone ever, so I say you're really in love with Mr. Penis. You wanted to believe that he would be with you, that you were soulmates, etc., so you could keep Mr. Penis all for yourself. As you said you got exactly what you deserved by fooling around with him again. You should have learned the first time that he was taking $hit.





I believe he was always in love with his wife but doesn't know how to keep it in his pants. You are not the first person he has cheated with and you won't be lthe last. Probably the reason his wife keeps throwing him out. You were available for him and offered what he needed, at the moment, and he took advantage of it. He lied and told you all that stuff to keep you around until he could get close to his wife again. If she had kept him at arms length and never talked to him anymore, he would still be there talking the same smack to you as before. Men hate being alone and will hook up with someone just to kill the loneliness and to keep their needs satisfied. He used you so get over it.
unfortanately it is usually all about the sex.
you got used


and if this jerk can do it again, he will


of course, he NEVER will divorce his wife for you


be happy your husband hasnt divorced you- because he should


stop mourning over this guy, he used you for sex... he never loved you
It was sex! A hard dick has no conscience. Face the facts, get your head out of the clouds and focus on either making your marriage work or get out.





Could you ever trust him (he's a cheater) or for that matter could he ever really trust you (You're a cheater).





It's Karma baby you should pray hard this doesn't come back to haunt you.





I hope you find what you are looking for
He lied because he knew if he told you he loved you and said all that to you, then you would let him bang you. You feel bad because you got used. Mistake made, be happy your husband took you back (most guys wouldn't) and realize that he loves you. You need to focus on your marriage and realize that the other guy never loved you and never will. You don't love your husband anymore because you are giving your love to someone else. Once you stop loving the other man (and you can if you stop feeding yourself this bull you just fed us) then you can find the love you have destroyed between you and your husband and be the woman HE deserves. Then you might find the man you are looking for was with you the whole time, you just weren't allowing him to be that man for you...
Sorry, I do not have any ';callers'; therefore I do not believe I can help you here.
The lies came from the lust of sex. Be happy your husband still wants you. Never have anything to do with the other man. He will only destroy you.
Men will always love their wives first and foremost; that was your biggest mistake was to fall in love with a married man. The fact that you were married is doubly bad. If you dont' love your husband leave him. He doesn't deserve the crap you've given him. Let him find someone that will love him back. As for you, you are a very selfish person who has zero feelings for anyone's but your own. Forget about this married man who screwed you, thats all you were to him was a screw and a man will say whatever he wants to get that out of him. Now his wife has taken him back. Forget the past and move on. He obviously didn't love you or else he would have not told you to get lost.
you can never trust a man who is cheating
I am truly sorry for what you are going through but unfortunately this is the way life is. People will say the right things that you want to hear and sometimes not mean it. I can blame you for falling in love with him, he sounds like a dream, but honey after being married to his wife all this time there is no way in hell that he was willing to give up his single life and attach himself to someone else. Most men take this opportunity to see and explore what they have been missing all the time they've been married. Just because it sounds good, it is not necessarily reality. You need time for yourself and to get over him. HIs wife is not lucky at all because that rat will end up cheating again on her soon that is who he is. i just hope that it is not with you...
They lie, because they feel it's what they need to say in order to keeping you there, spreading your legs for free, until the wife lets them back home.





You need to stop obsessing about him. You should also consider leaving your husband, so he can maybe find happiness with a woman who can really love him!! He deserves that.


Then, by you not being in your hubby's life any more, he can move on, and you can be alone and obsess alone, until you find someone else.
How does it feel to be a Yo-Yo ????
You're really not going to get that much sympathy here. I get that you ';love this man'; you said it a million times. Who knows why people say %26amp; do certain things. Fear, loneliness, just plain lying, etc. You're the one who got yourself entangled in this mess . . . not once but TWICE. He went back to her before %26amp; you fell for it again. Now there are 4 people involved, not just 2. I'm sorry but you're a very selfish person in my opinion. And you want to know why he lied to you? Well, why did you lie to your husband all this time you're sleeping with another man? What were YOU telling your husband during this period? Just keeping him on the side for security?
WOW! I'm sitting here stunned that you can't figure this out on your own... Here goes:


A. - The guy wife dumped him even though he was still into her.


B. - You come along he starts banging you and tells you he loves you so he can continue banging you.


C. - When he's not doing ';B'; he trying to win back his wife.


D. - Wife decides to give him another shot


E. - You're history
why do you think he lied? Do you really think you would have done what you did to your husband and his wife if he told you the truth. Leave your husband don't make him suffer anymore than he alreay has