Is he still the one ? (LONG STORY!)?

I have been with my husband for 10 years and married for 8, we have 3 kids. I was only 18 when we met and to be honest I had a pretty crappy upbringing and he was literally my knight in shining armour. When I was first with him I did have that ';He's the one'; moment and I thought we'd be together forever. Don't get me wrong he is a great bloke , and a great dad but I just don't know if I still love him as I used to. I have not been unfaithful, and nor to my knowledge has he. I am also worried how a split may affect the kids, I come from divorced parents and as I said earlier, my childhood was cr*p. The thing is I am scared, I gave up work to have our children and therefore I am financially dependent on him, we have a comfortable lifestyle (he earns nearly 70k) and a big house a car each etc, when I first met him he earned less than 12k so I didn't marry him for the money if that's what your thinking. Do you think it's possible for me to fall back in love him againIs he still the one ? (LONG STORY!)?
i met my husband in 1991 %26amp; it was literally love at first sight he was talking to some friends of mine from school %26amp; i knew then that i wanted to marry him! We married in 1995. WE have 4 kids :-) We've had a lot of problems over the years which we've always managed to work through!


BUT i still love him although it is different now partly through the fact that we have got 4 kids %26amp; they HAVE to take priority %26amp; partly because... well it's hard to explain but he's like your best mate you just kind of fit together you know each other so well! or maybe a pair of comfy old slippers!!!!





We just seem to have lost that spark most of the time although when it is there it is even better than ever!!


So yes it is possible to fall back in love with him i think, try to get some time out from the kids even if it is just for a meal but ideally for the weekend. Make it a 'no kids no work' time (although i would still take my mobile just incase there was an emergency or leave whoever has the kids with the contact number)


Ideally go back to visit some of the places you went to pre-kids!





If your anything like me you will usually be so busy looking after your kids %26amp; your hubby generally that you are to tired then for ';QUALITY TIME TOGETHER'; %26amp; just want to go to bed to sleep. So find someone (ideally family) to have the kids for the weekend %26amp; spend the whole weekend with each other re-discovering what you love about each other, make an effort to make HIM happy %26amp; hopefully that should help you to be happy with him again!


YOU will KNOW then if he IS still the one for you!!


Good luck i hope this helps!!Is he still the one ? (LONG STORY!)?
Well, if he was able to read this, how do you think you saying you don't know if you love him, but you can't leave him because he makes 70k a year sounds? Very low!
I agree with Flaze........and you have too much going for you both to give up on each other. After being together for so long, you do tend to get 'comfortable' with each other, and this can seem a little boring. Sounds like you are stuck in a rut, and need some outside stimulation....perhaps a hobby, go to the gym, or do something else that you may enjoy. remember the grass is not always greener on the other side, and the fact that you say you have a good marriage, goes a long way these days, its so rare. perhaps suggest to hubby, a long weekend away without the children, to rekindle some romance. All in all, dont be hasty.......you sound like you have what most woman want.....dont throw it all away.
Not to judge your love, but love is so much more then a feeling its when you stick through it through everything you have to have that feeling and know he is the one for me I got hat message from God through time and experiences. You have to have a commitment, you may lose a feeling but loves is so much more then feelings.
What you're experiencing is called ';growing up.'; You were in a horrible situation at a young age and he saved you from it. You took on the role as wife and mother and never took the role of being yourself. Divorce doesn't have to be an option. What you need to do is talk to him and explain what you're feeling and the both of you need to decide how you can safely explore who you are as an individual and still be married. It could be as simple as going to college or getting a part time job. Also, find something new to that the both of you can do together.





I knew a girl like you. She married young but when she figured out she wanted to explore life, she started to look down on her husband and cheated on him with any guy who would sleep with her. Because he was making more money she wouldn't divorce him and continued to humiliate him in public. Don't become like her! You guys need to work together and come up with a viable solution.
You sound like me with my ex. He was the knight in shining armour, he was a Cambridge Grad, had a good job, earning 拢60k a year etc etc. We had a nice house in Cardiff and a good standard of life. But after being together for 10 years I had seriously fallen out of love with him. We had no kids as he was a career man who didn't want children.





At the age of 32 I ended up listening to my heart not my head and leaving him for a younger man - a 21 year old barman who I met in a pub - who doesn't have two pennies to rub together! We had nowhere to live and slept in hotels and on friends and families' floors for months, whilst we desperately tried to get ourselves sorted out. I was used to being a ';kept woman'; and not having to work so it was a big wake up call!





Now, nearly 4 years on we have managed to get ourselves a house, he's working for a car-hire firm (slightly better than in a pub) and have a beautiful baby boy!! We're living in a shabby terraced house up in the valleys and are as poor as church mice (he's on 拢11k a year I'm not working, we have threatening letters and demands for money coming through the door every day and have got less than 拢70 to live on this week!!! Thank God for Tax Credits!!!) and I do miss the financial security I had with my ex. But with my current partner I have my beautiful baby son and a much more fulfilling relationship. At least there is PASSION in my current relationship. My relationship with my ex had all the passion and fire of a wet fish.





I'm sure you can fall back in love with your hubby if you so choose, especially as you have kids., For me it was better that I left. Yes I ended up poor and stressed but if I'd stayed I would not have ever had my son. But you have a lot to stay for. It would not be as easy for you to leave as it was for me to leave my ex as I had no ties to this man. Just think about what brought you both together.
Perhaps it would be good to view him in a different light. The fact you've been w him 4 so long shows that he is not a bad person. If you reconsider just why you are still w him, I think you will find adequate reason to fall in love again. Don't try to force your original image of knight upon him though, because clearly that is something of the past.





Indeed, I think marriages often turn into a deep friendship betwee man %26amp; wife, which is something to be valued more than you might at first imagine. On the other hand, if it is all going wrong and there are no similarities between you and you find yourselves totally incompatible, it may be that divorce is the best option. Do not be too hasty to decide though.
Yes-try changing things that you do-and look into an outside source for your boredom(not a man)-take some classes or work part time-it will help your ego and your strive for independence -you should always pursue things of interest to yourself-whether it be crafts, or belly dancing-do something besides being a housewife and mother-something FOR you
try counseling. i think you can still fall in love again
Maybe you both need a holiday alone, like a second honeymoon to spice things up again! Sometimes routine can make you feel this way! Also think of life without him! How you would feel never waking up to him, never kissing or being held by him again. How does that make you feel! Think of all the pros and cons about being with him/without him!
The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence.





Relationships can become dull over a period of time, and new ones look fresh and exciting.





Working on how you feel about a boring old husband , remember that they are there for you thru thick and thin, he should be your best friend.
YES. spend time with him, go away for the weekend and rekindle your relationship talk to him about things.
Well, first off, what is love? Love is much more than the warm fuzzy feeling you experience during the first few weeks/months your together. That is not love. Love is something much deeper than that and it endures through good and bad.





Too often these days, we take our education in love from hollywood fairytales. Hollywood couldn't get anything right if they were paid,,,,(oh yeah, they are).





Love is not always an easy thing do deal with, but bailing when things get tough or boring or whatever you want to call it, definately isn't love...or loyalty.





Perhaps there are some reasons behind this that you have not stated, but bailing just because you don't ';feel it' anymore is weak and it is nothing less than a broken commitment. Marriage = commitment, which is something that has to be taken seriously BEFORE you get into it knowing that there will be ups and downs and your promising to stick by that person through it all.
Yes, honey, there is a chance you can fall back in love!! You probably still do love him but after 10 years, things can get a little stale. If he is a good man and is good with the kids - then find anyway you can to fall back in love and re-connect!!!! There is nothing better than to have one person that has been with you thru thick and thin and knows you better than anyone. You can always count on him and he can count on you! i wish that I had that!!! So stick with it and have a great life with him. the grass is not always greener - be thankful!!!!!